2. Inner critical voice
It is not tough to guess that when women come to be single mothers, they might still have notions of the “perfect family” intact. Consequently, they look at their own circumstances through that lens.
This means that the absence of a male figure, who acts as a father gore to the child or children, is then felt more strongly. This sends many single mothers to doubt and guilt trips.
“Am I doing enough for my child?”
“Could I have done this better if I had a partner?”
“How good am I as a mother if I couldn’t even figure the dynamics of an adult relationship?”
This can take the individual’s world by storm. So what can you possibly do about this kind of guilt?
What you can do about it:
Journaling can be an easy method to note your guilty feelings and thoughts.
If you allow yourself some time and space, your writing might reveal what the real source of guilt is. Once you discover that you might want to find out if it’s warranted or not.
If your guilt is only partially yours to own, you may then figure out steps to move past what is not yours.
Frequently, feelings of guilt are accompanied by other feelings like resentment and sadness. See if you can give yourself little exercises to identify these other feelings and then work with them and their source.
3. Unresolved anger
The process of getting out of a relationship or dealing with the death of a spouse, come with its own baggage.
Unresolved anger is a common outcome, especially for mothers that have gone through bitter divorce battles. Fresh adjustments combined with maintaining a life that the children can thrive in, can be draining.
In many cases, single mothers can develop anger issues and can even end up expressing their anger towards their own children in unconstrained ways.
What you can do about it:
Anger issues, especially those stemming from old, unresolved anger, may need you to take a step back initially.
Where is the anger stemming from?
Is it because you have to do everything single-handedly and yet, don’t have a space to unpack yourself?
Is it because the stress of work, maintaining a family and looking after yourself, is becoming too much?
Is it because your children are refusing to listen to you?
Talk to someone you trust. Join a gym to release the pent-up frustration. But if you do have the resources and the inclination, sign up for therapy, which often takes you to the root of the problem.
4. Social isolation
In the narrative of single motherhood, increased responsibility is a recurring theme. With no support at home in the form of another person sharing the work, financial and emotional load, it is but natural to feel a growing distance between yourself and social commitments.
You might find yourself skipping lunches, family invitations or even outings with colleagues.
This can come down real hard especially if you aren’t the kind of person that needs plenty of personal space. For some single mothers, this tends to be downright depressing.