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But He Has So Many Good Qualities

He was a damn good actor, because I bought his performance every time.

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He played sincere really well.  When I would question his motives, he played hurt and dismayed to perfection.

He was an expert at getting what he wanted out of people. It was very hard for me to accept that I really meant nothing to this guy that meant so much to me.

Even his friends tried to warn me, but I was in la-la land.

I’ve had readers desperately try to hang on to their partners.

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They’ve been through counseling once – didn’t work, twice – didn’t work, three times, still didn’t work.

They’ve given in and given up everything to make their partner happy and you guessed it – it still didn’t work.

I think you only reach the truth when you have nothing left to give – and that is that you can’t make someone else happy if they’re not happy within themselves.

Your partner can’t truly give something or receive something that they don’t have.

Sometimes bad behavior is what it is.

Sometimes dishonesty is what it is.

Sometimes a lack of integrity is what it is and you can’t sweep it under the rug, it’s like dust, it keeps coming back and it just keeps piling up.

When you can’t trust your partner you aren’t in a real relationship.

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Part of feeling secure in a relationship is being able to relatively predict your partner’s behavior. If your guy or girl doesn’t show up when you expect them to, you’re not in a relationship.

You can feed yourself all the excuses you want to, but if you don’t know what to expect tomorrow from your mate, you’re in a whole heap of trouble and you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.

There’s no relationship in the world that’s worth all that uncertainty and self-doubt.

The only way to measure whether or not someone fits into your life is to consider the person as a whole. Sometimes bad behavior is just too bad to be in a relationship with.

No one is so extraordinary that they get a free pass to mistreat you. No one needs a relationship more than they need peace of mind and self-respect.

Holding out hope that their good qualities will resurface and permanently replace the bad is a fool’s hope and just not realistic.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the only real test of a person’s true feelings is measured by their consistent everyday actions.

If you don’t know where your partner is half the time, you’re not in a relationship.

If you can’t trust them, you’re not in a relationship.

If they treat you in an abusive fashion you’re not in a relationship.

It’s time to step out of the land of make-believe and come back to reality. Just because you may have invested a lot of time and effort isn’t reason enough to stay.

That’s just continuing to throw good money at a bad investment.  If someone loves and respects you and wants you in their life, they will show up for you every day.

They will prove it every day

– not by what they say, or by what they promise, but by what they do

– anything else is fantasy and just not worth the trouble.

Related Video: 9 Things A Narcissist Will Never Do For You (or Anyone Else)

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Written By Savannah Grey
This article originally appeared on Esteemology.com and has been printed here with the authors permission

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Anonymous

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Vonda Mcpeters

When you find inner peace… Read more »

Jyoti Agarwal

Good night

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Savannah Greyhttp://www.esteemology.com
Savannah Grey is a Freelance Writer, Hypnotherapist, Sports Fanatic and Philosopher. She has a degree in Psychology and is the founder of esteemology.com, a website dedicated to educating and healing survivors of abusive relationships.
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