Over the years, my understanding of self-esteem had changed again and again. From the belief in confidence, just what is self-esteem? More important, how had my understanding changed the way I see and live my life?

Living with Low Self-Esteem.

I was not a popular kid in school. Not that I get bullied, but it’s more like the few friends and I have been invisible.

It annoys me to see some of my classmates trying to befriend the popular kids. I once confided to a friend that I couldn’t care less who they were.

The truth was that I wanted to be one of the popular kids in school. It’s just that for you to be famous, you have to have something or do something that makes you famous, right?

I had none.

And it sucks.

God knows how many times I have tried to change my image.

Each time I tried, I stop. I am not sure if it’s a good thing. I am not a cool person, so if I acted cool, I’d look like a fool.

In more ways than one, I lacked belief in myself. I looked at the other kids and wish I could be like them. I’d like to be the best-looking person in school, the best at this and that and more.

In other words, I wanted to be someone else other than me.

Sometimes, my friends and I would be like hanging out. And then one would think of a crazy thing to do.

Don’t get me wrong. We were pretty nice kids. So we didn’t get into stuff that is dangerous, much less against the law.

As much as I would like to try, I end up hesitating most of the time. I don’t know why, but maybe it’s because I didn’t like doing something new.

If there is one thing I hated, it’s feeling stupid not knowing how to do something. And oh, I hate feeling useless too.

Sometimes I get into arguments with my friends. When I think about those days, I realize how silly we were, especially me.

During heated moments, friends would say I have too much pride. And selfish too, for refusing ever to admit to anything.

So yeah, I did blame others for anything that goes wrong.

I don’t know exactly when it happened, but the time came when I found myself spending more time with the popular kids.

It came to the point that my childhood friends accused me of dumping them. They told me I had changed so much that it’s like I became a new person.

They were right.

Everything my new friends did was cool and fun. But if it were my childhood friends, I have no patience.

Was I peer-pressured into changing to a new person? No, I think it’s more like I copied. I unknowingly allowed my new friends to influence me.

You see, I wanted to be somebody.

Building Self-Esteem.

I think everyone goes through an identity crisis.

Soon after college, I thought I had life figured out. Gosh, I couldn’t be more wrong.

Everything changed when I began to understand who I am. Once I did, I started to develop trust and belief in myself. This higher level of understanding also allowed me to manage my emotions better.

In other words, I began to have higher self-esteem. Self-esteem is also called self-worth or self-regard. It is how we feel and view ourselvesphysically, mentally and emotionally.

People with low self-esteem:

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About The Author

Ane Krstevska blogs about self-improvement and her blog www.selfdevelopshop.com focuses on personal productivity, motivation, and self-education. For the past 12 years, she’s been working as an HR professional for the US Government and the private sector. She is dedicated to helping people make positive change and help them stop getting so down about themselves that they feel life is not worth living. Her formula for living is quite simple - live simply, give generously.

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