Investing in these relationships looks like actively prioritizing quality time with people, and setting dates for group get-togethers. When you’re in each other’s presence, you’re taking the conversation to more intimate and emotionally vulnerable places. You share your full truths, or ask for and offer support where it’s needed.
It’s fine to bullshit and laugh sometimes. But sadly, that’s the extent of many people’s friendships. When shit hits the fan, they feel like they have no one to turn to, even though they have a network of people they hang out with regularly.
What makes it easy for you and other people to reach out during hard times is already knowing that it’s safe to do so. How you interact now is setting a precedent. Through demonstration, let those around you know that radically honest, dark, and ugly conversations are welcome, honored, and appreciated. Having friends that expect each other to lean on them, and get lovingly frustrated when they don’t, is more precious than gold.
3. Be the dominant creator of positive change in your life
Alongside facing challenging moments, this point is another huge contributor to strengthening beliefs like “I CAN. I am capable, valuable, and I can get through anything.”
The heart of it can be summed up into three words: Start taking charge.
Life doesn’t just throw success and positive change at you. Yes, sometimes great things, people, or opportunities will come your way. But very few things will stick or take root if you’re not already off your ass and actively engaged in living.
If you’re unsatisfied with something, no one is going to come along and save you, or clean up your mess, or put in the work.
Get up, make it better, or get rid of it.
That might mean literally cleaning up your home. Do you want to feel healthier, lose weight, and get stronger? Then go to the gym, throw the shit in your cupboards in the trash, and trial new ways of eating to see what makes your body sing.
If you are chronically broke or feeling tight on money, see what excess crap you can sell, or learn how to create alternative revenue streams. If you have any existing skill sets you can improve upon and develop, put in the practice, and find a higher-level mentor to show you the way to more greatness.
This is about seeing real-time impacts in your own life, and knowing that you created them; your internal will was the sole agent of change. The results you get will feedback into your beliefs of what’s possible, and what you can produce, which fuels more action and badassery.
4. Build out your stress management tool kit
The baseline level of stress in your body and mind massively dictates how you will (or won’t) respond to adversity. Imagine brake pads on a car that are full, fresh, and thick, versus another set that are completely worn down to metal grinding on metal. That is the equivalent of your nervous system with and without stress management.
Besides your belief in your capabilities, emotional resilience is largely dependent on a regulated, balanced nervous system. I’m sure you’ve experienced the downside of this before. When you’re fully taxed and strung out, you can barely even handle the mental task making a grocery list, let alone handling real issues. You get irritable, clouded by brain fog, and depressive.
There are hundreds of ways to alleviate all that stress and thicken up those neurological brake pads. Common ways include:
- Sweating it out with infrared saunas
- Taking an extended, sensual bath
- Journaling out thoughts and feelings on paper
- Meditation, yoga, and floatation therapy
- Talking it out with friends or therapists
- Self-massage and foam rolling
- Going for a long walk in a forest and/or near a body of water
- Supplementation with natural herbs and minerals
- Creating art, or playing instruments
Experiment with what feels right for you. Whatever your tools are, once you identify them, you can have them in your back pocket at all times. This way, you know what’s going to work for you when times get tough. You also know what routines to get back into when you suddenly realize you’re feeling overwhelmed and stretched too thin.