For example, if a core value is honesty, you can refer to that when your child lies about something.
3. Set examples when you can.
When your kids (or you and your partner) act out, turn it into a teaching moment to demonstrate how to repair ruptures in relationships.
Teach your children that ruptures and repairs occur in all relationships.
When there is a rupture (for example, “He hit me first!”), teach your offending child how to take responsibility for their actions. Then demonstrate how to repair the rupture (forgive) to whoever was hurt by the behavior so that can develop emotional intelligence and resilience.
You can teach them the steps they need to take — recognition, responsibility, remorse, and repair — in order to move past it. This will help them develop emotional intelligence and resilience.
4. Teach them how to communicate.
Make a deposit into the family’s “emotional bank” by teaching your children how to communicate.
I like Marshal Rosenberg’s “Non-Violent Communication” for this. Teach kids how to clearly express what they need, feel, or want without blaming or criticizing.
Instead of “She made me,” teach them to speak from the “I” perspective.
A child is never too young to start learning about boundaries. Even though this is a tough time, it’s OK to say no to them.
5. Limit screen time.
Research shows there isn’t a firm “right” amount, and that more active forms of screen time, like cooperative and team-oriented video games, can actually have positive effects on your mental well-being.
This is especially important right now because the internet is the world’s best tool for distanced socializing. Like all tools, your new tech tools have to be used with proper care, attention, and responsibility.
There are hundreds of new and timeless video games that parents and kids can play together. And there are countless favorite films now perfectly positioned to be passed down that don’t just entertain or distract but teach ineffable lessons about life, love, and family and build emotional intelligence and resilience.
If you want to become more informed on the pros and cons of screen time for children and adolescents, UCLA researcher Dr. Yalda Uhls has written an awesome, very easy to read book for parents, “Media Moms & Digital Dads.”
Research shows it takes five positive interactions with loved ones to make up for one negative interaction. Keep this in mind when you feel the frustration bubble up. Try and tap into the joy of parenting instead of the job of parenting.
Related: This Emotional Intelligence Quiz Reveals How Psychic You Are!
What other ways do you know to build emotional intelligence and resilience in kids? Leave a comment and share it with your friends.