6) You don’t have anything you are striving for together.
This happens when people don’t talk. Don’t realize the importance of having a common goal. Whether it’s work in your community, in a church, in your own lives. That goal brings fresh excitement and a sense of purpose to marriage.
What are the two of you about? What do you care about together? Important questions to answer.
7) You have not accepted the loss nor appreciated the gain.
If you have been together for a while, in all likelihood, you have had experiences that have “de-romanticized” your partner. To say the least. You have seen them really sick. Green at the gills. Or pouting. Or irritable. And they have hurt you. Or disappointed you. And you, them.
They have lost that rock-star quality they had at the beginning for sure.
You have been through life together.
Instead, there can exist a depth of feeling and experience that is irreplaceable. To be treasured.
But it can’t be new again. It simply can’t.
That has to be realized. Accepted. And appreciated.
So what would cause you to marry your partner all over again? Even knowing what you know now? (Remember, they are answering the same question…).
Perhaps you can find answers that surprise you. Even warm your heart.
I hope so.
Written by Dr. Margaret Rutherford Originally appeared in The Good Men Project