Why I’m Breaking Up with a Good Man

Why I’m Breaking Up with a Good Man

John and I took the time to get acquainted naturally over three-plus months at work. The more I learned, the more I liked about him. He was a single father for 16 years with custody of two boys, and the third had recently left home. He had longevity at previous jobs if only to provide for his sons. He was kind and demonstrated compassion.

He had good social filters and appropriate behavior in a mixed company. He seemed to be an excellent candidate for the instant grandfather to my young grandchildren. My grandchildren–with their healthy intuition for judging character–warmed up to him right away when we finally agreed to be a couple.

John is a good man in every way that is important to me. Breaking up with a good man is more difficult than breaking up with a man like my father. We communicate we cuddle, we laugh! He keeps his word; he is helpful, he is kind and loving. He is trustworthy and respectable. He loves me, and it seems nothing is wrong.

Related: What Breaking Up Teaches Us About Life and Ourselves


Instead of “breaking up”, let’s call what we’re doing “being mature, good adults who choose to be best friends.”

The last four chaotic months of my transitional life would have been unbearable without John. He was my rock. My helper, my cheerleader, and my solace. John tells me that while we no longer have a commitment to a long-term romantic relationship together, he will be here for me. I believe him.

This path I’m on to improve my life, to step up to my full potential, is one that John supports for me because he knows my credentials and how I have been working persistently and consistently toward my goals. Although he’s not interested in participating in the activities my path requires of me and my partner, he is thoughtful and generous enough not to impede my progress on the path. Instead, John is being a good man, a good person, and mostly a good friend to say, “I support you and encourage you to pursue your career and will do so from the sidelines.”

What’s your opinion on breaking up with a good man due to unhealthy relationship patterns? Leave a comment below.



Written by Lisa M. Blacker
Originally appeared in The Goodmen Project

Why I’m Breaking Up with a Good Man

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