Benchmarks are a point of reference against which other things are compared. Setting benchmarks is an important part of moving forward.
For my clients, their benchmark was how effective the no mid-week drinking boundary was. They defined what they wanted to achieve by setting this boundary (a more peaceful dinner and bedtime routine). When that boundary was violated, they looked carefully at what kind of effect the violation had on their family. They realized that it did make things more difficult and they agreed to pay attention going forward to how to make bed time better.
If you have set boundaries and they have been crossed, going forward focus on why that benchmark was set and whether it’s important to have in place going forward. You don’t want a boundary in place that is impossible to achieve and which might cause more problems in your relationship.
#5 – Support.
When boundaries are crossed in marriage, significant strain can result. Relationships are tested because trust is violated. If the boundaries are crossed over and over, things can really turn bad.
If boundaries have been crossed in your marriage and it is creating stress that you can’t resolve, seek professional help. It is important that trust is maintained in any relationship and a therapist or life coach can help you manage it.
Addressing issues in a relationship head on is important so, if you can’t resolve the feelings that arise when boundaries are crossed, seek help immediately and keep things from getting worse.
When boundaries are crossed in marriage, significant damage can occur.
It is important that the issue is addressed immediately, that both parties acknowledge what is going on, that the issue is talked about, that a resolution is made and benchmarks set and that, if you can’t resolve the issues, you seek professional help.
Keeping your relationship healthy is important to it’s longevity so work hard to get past issues that arise decisively and move forward. Together.
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