And don’t underestimate the power that self-care and a bit of pampering may have on your mental health and self-esteem. Self-love is needed for confidence.
3. Learn self-acceptance
Confidence is about feeling good to be yourself.
Self-acceptance is a bit like a Catch-22 situation. On one hand, being too self-accepting may mean that you like the status quo and you wouldn’t be too interested in changing the Current You. On the other hand, though, being too self-criticizing is not great either–it may throw you into a perpetual battle with yourself–to do better, to always strive for perfection, to never be satisfied with your achievements.
So, what is the right way to self-accept?
The first step to self-acceptance is self-knowledge. Because you can’t really accept what you are not aware of, right? So, make it a habit of purposely getting to know yourself.
For instance, every morning, as part of my confidence-boosting ritual, one of the things I tell myself is 1 thing that I like — and try to be quite specific. For instance–one of my favorite books is the Godfather, or that one of my most-liked dishes is the Greek salad, or that I like working with numbers.
It’s a good prompt — this exercise reinforces your identity. It makes you think consciously about who you are, your likes, dislikes, your preferences. It’s great for self-exploring.
The second step to self-acceptance is to acknowledge that you are not perfect. No one is. You have good parts (externally and internally), ok parts, and a side of you that needs work. And this is absolutely fine–it’s pretty much how most people are.
The right way to accept yourself so that you can become more confident with the person living in your body is to NOT to say to yourself things as: “You are so stupid. You are not worth it. No one likes you.” All these things are not motivating, they have the opposite effect. They put you down, drown your energy, and won’t spur any action on your side.
Disliking yourself this way makes you lose self-respect.
The nudge: Watch your thoughts, as they can become your destiny, as Lao Tzu wisely taught us many years ago. Challenge the inner critic.
Your internal dialogue should be along the lines of: “I know I’m not perfect. I know I need to work on my social skills/ grades/ relationships/ etc. and I will get there.” This sets a much more positive tone, acknowledges that you are work-in-progress, and reinforces your self-belief that you can persevere.
Try these nudges to boost your confidence and let us know the results in the comments below.
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And finally, also remember that no one is confident all the time, no matter how they appear. We all need an occasional boost, priming, or a nudge to our self-assurance.
All that matters is that you continue to believe in your stars–that regardless of what happens, you will be able to get on your feet again and will continue to evolve.
And you can find an “I-will-survive-no-matter-what” nudge too, more power to you.
Written By: Evelyn Marinoff Originally Appeared On: Evelyn Marinoff Republished with permission For more advice on how to become more confident and live a more fulfilling life, join Evelyn's Facebook page here