While I can certainly, both personally and professionally, relate to the frustration felt when someone continues to transgress boundaries; what I can also say without reservation is that – as adults – nobody is responsible for our boundaries except for us. That is right. As adults, nobody is responsible for our boundaries except for us.
The way I like to describe healthy boundaries is like a soccer field. There are many moving parts and all kinds of variables on a soccer field, which is also true of boundaries. Just as the game is always changing, we as people are always changing, and so is our relationship to boundaries. But what is the one thing that ALL soccer fields have on both sides?
A goalie and a net. While there are many ways to protect the ball from hitting the net, there is still only one goalie on each side and, in the world of adult boundaries, that goalie is and always must be you. Different people in your life may be allowed different layers of access to you and varying parts of your life; but in the end, the you that keeps you safe is the person that defines who those people are and which parts of you they get to see.
In truth, you are the goalie of your own life. And your boundaries, nor the building blocks that make up your life, can happen without you.
What are the other myths about boundaries that you know?
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Written by: Blythe Landry Originally appeared on: Bythelandry.com Republished with permission.