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3 Betrayals That Ruin Relationships (That Aren’t Infidelity)


This is how you can create unconditional love:

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When couples ignore or dismiss talking about difficult issues, they are left with a shallow commitment. By using conflict as a catalyst for closeness, couples can intentionally use problems as an opportunity to discuss their goals, fears, and dreams.

Couples that unconditionally love each other, live by the motto, “baby, when you hurt, the world stops and I listen.”


3. Emotional Withdrawal

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Emotional withdrawal can be something big, like choosing a work meeting over a family funeral, or it can be as small as turning away when your partner needs emotional support.

A committed relationship requires both partners to be there for each other through the life-altering traumas and everyday nuisances. That means celebrating joys and successes with your partner, too.

Everybody has different ways of expressing themselves. In a committed relationship, it is the responsibility of both partners to uncover and disclose these preferences to understand what the other requires to feel loved, protected, and supported. Think of The Five Love Languages.

Do you feel your partner is emotionally withdrawing from you? Read 10 Signs That Your Partner Is Becoming Emotionally Detached

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In his research lab, Dr. Gottman discovered that happy couples turned toward each other 86% of the time, while unhappy couples turned towards each other only 33% of the time. That means unhappy couples withdraw 67% of the time! Emotional withdrawal sets in when bids are ignored.


To improve your emotional connection, focus on rebuilding and updating your Love Maps, cultivating a culture of admiration and fondness, and turning towards bids more often.

Do any of the items listed above feel familiar or make you feel uneasy? If so, you may be facing a betrayal. Maybe it’s as serious as finding discomforting text messages between your partner and someone else. This list is not about who is right or wrong. Like sexual affairs, these betrayals can be overcome if you recognize the problem and repair the relationship together.

If you want tools for achieving greater levels of intimacy and betrayal-proofing your relationship then click here.

If you want to know more about the betrayals that ruin relationships, then you might like this video: 

This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog and has been submitted here by The Gottman Institute.


3 Betrayals That Ruin Relationships

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Tania Shmal

Thats a very American way… Read more »





The Gottman Institute
The Gottman Institute uses over 40 years of research on thousands of couples to provide research based tips on how to make love last. Our research has saved troubled relationships and strengthened happy ones. Get your free copy of 7 Signs Your Relationship Will Last by clicking here Workshot for Couples Professional Training Certificate Courses
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