Couples or marriage counseling should not be viewed as something that needs to be done only when the other partner cheated or when the other one does not love his or her partner anymore. Counseling needs to be done when one of you notices that the relationship seems to be in some kind of trouble. You may not know exactly what’s wrong with the relationship, but that is what counseling is all about.
When couples stop talking to each other and have become annoyed or irritated at the other for the simplest reasons, it’s time for couples or marriage counseling. When you feel that you are unhappy in your current relationship, but you still want to make things work, it’s also time to talk to someone who could help. Couples take counseling for granted, thinking it cannot help, but that is so far from the truth. The truth is that counseling has saved a lot of marriages from ending and here are some reasons why:
1. Learn how to communicate better.
When one of you starts raising his or her voice after a few minutes of talking, you are not communicating effectively. This scenario most likely ends up in a shouting match. When you do counseling, the counselor will help you understand that you are both different individuals with different personalities, dreams, hopes, and wants in a relationship.
In order for you to communicate effectively, you need to listen to what your partner is saying without interrupting and truly trying to understand where they are coming from. Most of the time, one of the couples is afraid to say what he or she feels, needs, or wants, especially when the other couple has a short temper or has different views. Counseling, such as at Western Plains Psychology, will help the couple overcome these blocks.
2. Learn how to resolve conflicts.
When a couple has fights, there are times when it gets so bad that one or both of them become verbally abusive or they say things they don’t mean and will regret later. Sometimes, people lash out when they are angry and hurt. They also want the other person to hurt just as much as they are hurting. This is a very unhealthy way of resolving conflicts. Even if, in the end, all become better, there are just some things you say that will never be forgotten.
Counseling will help you resolve conflicts in a healthy way. When there are fights, respect should never be thrown out the window. However, when you’ve been together for so long, you don’t seem to be aware that you’re doing it. Counseling will help both of you recognize this. You both need to learn how to resolve conflicts like two mature adults. While anger is a normal emotion, you should be able to control it by the time you have a talk.
3. Learn how to revitalize intimacy that has been lost.
One of the most common factors of failed marriages is the loss of intimacy. Being together for so long may have made you lose your sexual desire for each other because of several reasons. You may have had kids that need a lot of your attention then you need to juggle that with work. By the end of the day, both of you are so tired that the only thing left to do is sleep. This becomes the norm year after year.
Counseling will help you restore these feelings of desire for each other. Counselors understand that the two of you have been doing the same things together for years. Sometimes, your counselor may suggest that the two of you do some activities separately in order to restore that feeling of being an individual rather than always functioning as a couple. A qualified counselor will be able to help you through this process in order to restore the physical attraction that was somehow forgotten through the years.
4. Understand your partner better.
Each person has different needs and wants. You may know your partner’s wants and needs when you first met, but you should keep in mind that as you grow older, you and your partner’s needs and wants could have shifted. Both of you need to understand that people grow and you also need to understand the changes that your partner goes through. During counseling, you will find out about these changes.
Your relationship is a beautiful thing, especially when you have created beautiful children. When both couples are willing to work out their problems or issues, your marriage or relationship could be saved even before it gets too rocky. Counseling is not a last resort kind of thing. It should be done at the first signs of relationship issues.