How Can You Be Vulnerable As An Adult When You Were Never Safe As A Child?

How Can You Be Vulnerable As An Adult

He came to therapy only a few times. He thanked me for listening. He thanked me for caring about his world, his reality.

I was the one who was grateful. For Jerry showed me, once again, how courageous people can be. No matter how much hurt there is, no matter how victimized you’ve been, no matter how guilty you are of creating pain for others, you can find trust. You can reach out. You can try to connect.

You can risk being vulnerable. While it is incredibly difficult when you were taught not to trust as a child, allowing yourself to be vulnerable is the surest way to find peace.

Being known, all of you, the good and the bad, and still being accepted? That’s a wonderful and healing gift you can give to yourself.

Jerry gave me hope for Max. And for Josie.

If you find yourself in their stories, I hope it gives you hope as well.

Want to know more about how you can heal your childhood trauma and abuse? Read 7 Steps to Healing Childhood Trauma as an Adult


You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

If you are a victim of childhood trauma or child abuse, then naturally you will find it tough to be vulnerable. But, you cannot let your trauma define your whole life, and that is why you need to work towards letting go of its clutches. Take one step at a time, and don’t be too hard on yourself, because the nights are always darkest before dawn.


If you want to know more about how child abuse can affect you in being vulnerable in your adult life, then check out this video below:


Written by Dr. Margaret Rutherford
Originally appeared in Dr. Margaret Rutherford

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