Being a Safe Place: The Most Loving Thing You Can Do For Your Man

We can validate the feeling even when we don’t get why he feels that way.

Men don’t always understand our reactions to things. We can get upset or sad about things that seem little or insignificant to them. The same is true for men. They may react with feelings to a situation that seems confusing or just doesn’t make sense. We have to be careful not to judge the feeling and instead relate to it. You may not get why something is angering or saddening your guy. He may be disappointed about something that you just don’t get. That’s ok. Relate to the feeling. You’ve been mad, sad, and disappointed before. Stay in that place and relate to the feeling.


They don’t always need to talk about it. Really.

Sometimes women put too much emphasis on conversation. Sometimes, words aren’t necessary. Sometimes, he’s just going need someone who can be quiet with him, someone who can keep him company while he figures things out, himself. Maybe he needs a company at the gym while he works it out. He might need to be held, hugged, or have his handheld. Making love to him sensitively and with compassion also creates safety and acceptance. Being a safe person sometimes means accepting that not talking is an acceptable option.


Accept when they’re done talking and Let. It. Go.

My poor husband. I am a therapist. When I am not bungling up his feelings and making them about me, I am usually all too happy to jump right in and talk…and talk…and talk. Poor guy. Not everyone likes to or needs to, go round and round their feelings ad nauseam. Sometimes, they just need to put it out there that they are going through something and then they can move on.

Safety means letting them. Women can get sucked into the intimacy that gets created when a man opens up and that feeling can tempt us to drag out the moment longer than he is comfortable with. Take your cue from him. When he’s done talking, let him be done.

After all, safety also means being aware of what’s going on with him and following up a day or two later to see how he’s feeling or how it all worked out.

Written by Heather Gray
Originally appeared in The Good Men Project

You may also like:

How To Get Him To Finally Commit To You
5 Phrases That’ll Make Him Fall In Love With You Instantly
7 Ways To Make Him Fall in Love Over Text Message
The 10 Most Heartfelt Compliments You Can Give A Man
4 Things a Man Does If He Wants a Relationship With You


The Most Loving Thing You Can Do For Your Man
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do For Your Man

The Good Men Project
The Good Men Project is the only large scale, open and inclusive conversation about the changing roles of men in the 21st century. Join the conversation at
- Advertisment -


Here’s a 10 cheat-sheet on how to make a man catch major feelings for you.
If you experienced the five stages of true love scam, consider yourself as targeted and ensnared by a pathological user, a predator, a sociopath. That’s the beginning of finding answers.
Five attributes and behaviors a good man looks for in his partner, and five he studiously avoids.
Here are some motivational quotes by the legend Bruce Lee.

Editor's Pick

Follow these laws of 'Shiva Karma' and attain the highest form of existence!
The type of toxic person you attract and the reason why you do so.
Look closely at the picture below. And decide what you saw first. Whatever you see will tell you a lot about your perception of life and who you are on the inside.
If you were raised by a narcissistic parent, that legacy may affect you in multiple ways.
- Advertisement -


Hey, Listen To Your Emotions
Clear your mind, gaze upon the following 6 Sigils and Choose the one that speaks to you most. Read on to find what it means for you
The psychoanalysis test is quick and easy. Its effectiveness is astonishing. All you have to do is read about the first figure that caught your eye. Take a look:
Useful Psychology Tricks that will give you an upper hand when dealing with people

Latest quotes

Being Happy is a Very Personal Thing
We Are All Shaped