7 Tips For Being A More Mindful Single Parent

Tips For Being A More Mindful Single Parent

In this life, no one is safe from becoming a single parent. However, the most important thing for any parent, regardless of raising a child in pairs or alone, is to bring up a worthy and happy person.

What is mindful parenting? What to focus on in a children’s education? This article will talk about seven rules to keep in mind if you are a single parent.

Main Mindful Parenting Tips for Single Moms or Dads

Parenting is a gift of fate but also a great responsibility. In any sphere of life, it is easier to achieve success when you know what to rely on. These seven critical rules will not only help you become a more conscious single parent but also positively affect your relationship with your kiddo.

1. A Child Is a Guest in Your Home and Heart

As much as you love your child, do not let this bright, beautiful feeling develop into a painful attachment. So often, single parents try to fill the void of an absent mom or dad and forget about the main thing. A child is a separate independent person who will sooner or later grow up, leave their home, and go out into the world, where they will build their own space.

In no case should you realize your unfulfilled desires and ambitions through your child. The child is your continuation, but only if we are talking about a family tree. For the rest, they are self-sufficient human beings that must have their own dreams and desires, learn from their own mistakes, and build their own reality. This is the foundation of mindful parenting.

2. Let Go of Destructive Guilt

Suppose we are talking about situations when, on your initiative, you divorced or left a second parent. In that case, guilt is a frequent companion: guilt before the child for not keeping the family together and improving relations with their second parent.

Moreover, guilt is such a poisonous feeling that it is present even when the partner himself leaves you with the child. People here are prone to self-flagellation.

Another basis of mindful awareness parenting is that only a happy parent can have happy children. But, first, your child will interpret your guilt as weakness. After all, when we feel guilty in front of someone, we allow them more. So, your kid will read your “pain points” and deftly manipulate them.

Secondly, guilt will prevent you from raising a child sensibly, considering unconditional love and the severity needed for respect, discipline, rules in society, etc., especially if we are talking about raising a boy. Feeling guilty, you will lose the strength and ability you need to nurture morality, honor, and dignity in your child.

3. Find a Balance Between Affection and Discipline

Mindfulness for new mums and dads includes discipline, which is vital to a child. Through discipline, they learn to behave in society and realize other people’s boundaries. However, be careful not to overdo it.

A child is a very vulnerable unit. First and foremost, they need love and affection. To grow up as a self-sufficient person with harmonious self-esteem, they must feel loved from an early age. And even if they are justly punished for misbehaving, they are still loved.

4. Give Your Child the Freedom To Be Themself

So what is a mindful parenting blog without talking about a child’s freedom? We have already discussed that sooner or later, your baby will leave your home and become independent. However, for the separation from the parent to occur as gently as possible and at the child’s request, they must gain independence from an early age.

Let them make mistakes, learn from them, lose toys, build relationships with peers on the playground or in the kindergarten. But teach them to be responsible for their freedom and actions. They should not just do “whatever their heart desires,” but also cope with the consequences of such freedom.

5. You Are a Friend for a Child, but Not a Buddy; a Mentor, but Not a Tyrant

Mindful parenting tips involve boundaries. They are essential and set by the parent. You must be the most authoritative person in a child’s life. Balance is also important here: you are a friend, but not a buddy.

You instruct the kid but do not tyrannize them. Any concept can be skewed, so watch it. Very few children can call their parents “good friends” because they often put themselves over kids and do not consider their opinions.

The same story applies to mentoring: of course, it is much easier to be a tyrant who only commands what to do and much more challenging to be a wise counselor who advises but still leaves space for choices and mistakes. And the main difference is that a friend and a mentor accept their child, while a buddy, just like a tyrant, will never be authoritative.

6. Be Honest: Do Not Lie About the Little Things and Do Not Make Promises You Will Never Fulfill

We, adults, don’t like being lied to. So why do we often lie about little things to our children? Parents cannot always explain complicated things to children, so it is easier for them to lie. Get rid of this addiction.

Let your word be worth something. Learn to express yourself in a child-friendly language. For example, if you don’t know how to talk about sex, there is a lot of decent literature on the topic.

Do not promise what you cannot do, and the child, seeing your sincerity, will trust you more. Don’t lie because a “good lie” is also a rather slippery slope in raising a kid. Instead, build trust, honesty, and open relationships. Don’t set an example that it’s okay to lie.

7. Never Talk Bad About the Other Parent

Whatever situation you have with your partner, never say bad things about them. You don’t need to be a fighter for justice here. Instead, be a loving parent who wants to raise a child without complexes and psycho-trauma. Every kid wants to know that they are born in love. 

If you have nothing good to say about the second parent, be as neutral as possible. For example, say that they chose their path. In any case, they gave birth to a child, so they need to be thanked at least for this. Moreover, never vent your anger and dissatisfaction with your ex-partner on the child. It is essential not only for the mental health of the child but also for yours.

In a case where you are currently in a state of intense conflict with a second partner, contact special centers and support groups. They are specially created for counseling single mothers.

Final note

Parenting is incredibly happy and challenging at the same time. To be a mindful parent for your child, you first need to become a mindful person for yourself. And yes, love works wonders! Keep this in mind, and your child will pay you back a hundredfold.

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Natalie Maximets