4. You consider others’ feelings more important than your own.
If you already know that you were raised by a narcissist, you might really resonate with this one. In mind games played by a narcissist, it’s absolutely essential that they have an upper hand over opinions, over actions, and mostly over feelings.
This means that they will not stop short in letting you know subtly or not-so-subtly, that their last word is the golden word, whatever that may be. They will even go as far as to tell you what to feel and how to feel.
Consequently, as someone who never got a chance to access what they truly feel, you’ll always display the tendency to keep others’ convenience above your own, to consider their feelings more than what you’re experiencing.
5. You find emotional boundaries difficult to acknowledge and hold.
Having grown up with a person who posed as someone who knew you better than anyone else, who had your best interest at heart, it’s not surprising that your emotional boundaries are so porous.
Trying to function around a narcissistic parent often results in one of the following or both :
- You repress how you feel and give predominance to how someone else feels, or
- You rebel and care only about what you feel
You switch between these two states, creating a chaotic inner landscape.
Barely there emotional boundaries can often make trust a difficult subject for you and as a result, your adult relationships could become disharmonious.
A parent-child bond underlined by narcissism can leave behind invisible marks of despair, distress and sometimes even depression.
Even if you do come to realise that your early upbringing was rooted in narcissistic behaviour, it’s important that you go slow in your recovery.
Need be, exploring your inner world and your past with a therapist can give you closure at multiple levels. You might want to go easy on yourself while you’re on this journey, for the simple reason that it can rake up a lot of unacknowledged feelings and sensations.
Growing up with a narcissistic parent is a pain like no other because when you needed to be seen and heard, you were in fact making sure someone else was being seen and heard.
If you want to know more about the children of narcissistic parents, then check this video out below: