Before You Tie the Knot, Ask These 25 Things

Before You Tie the Knot, Ask These 25 Things

3. If your partner has siblings, what is the nature of their current relationship with each other?

4. Does she consider herself a ‘spender’ or a “saver”?

5. Does he believe in giving (and receiving) unsolicited opinions or advice?

6. When it comes to dealing with differences or conflict, does he consider himself on the “avoidant” end of the spectrum or the “volatile” end, or in the middle?

7. What is the best way to support your partner when they are feeling stressed out or upset?

8. How does she feel about the distribution of housework responsibilities?

9. How would she characterize the nature of her parents’ relationship?

10. How does he feel about having friendships with people of the opposite sex?

11. Do they have a life purpose, and if so what do they see it as being?

12. What is it about you that makes them want to spend their life with you?

13. Is there anything about you that they are concerned about might be a problem for them in the future?

14. Are there any subjects that are “off-limits” to discuss and if so, what are they?

15. If your partner has had previously committed partnerships what is the current nature of their relationship?

16. How significant a part of their life does religion play?

17. If you have children what religious tradition(s) will they be raised in?

18. How will financial resources and obligations, personal and joint, be handled?

19. If either of you has a parent who is in need of care how would you want it to be handled?

20. How important do you consider sex to be for a fulfilling life and relationship?

21. How willing would your partner be to seek professional help if you hit a bump in the road that you were unable to get through?

22. What are your partner’s thoughts and views on pornography?

23. How do your partner most enjoy having love shown to them?

24. Do you have any “deal-breakers” and if so what are they?

25. What is your picture of where we will be in our lives and in our relationship in 2030?
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Now, do not think that your relationship should be based on a questionnaire and without these questions, you can never know your partner. Getting to know your partner gradually is what love is all about. The more you spend time with a person, the more you get to know about him. And the more you know something about a person, the easier it will be for you to spend your life with him is pure bliss.

This by no means is a complete list, but it is a good starter kit.

Feel free to ask questions of your own and


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Written by Linda and Charlie Bloom
Originally appeared in Psychology today

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Before You Tie the Knot, Ask These 25 Things

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