Back to you. The first step is finding what your heart burns to do in this world.
If you have yet to do this, start here.
Carve out two hours and sit with these questions:
– What have been five of the happiest days of my life, that I have already lived?
– What is my life that makes me feel the most?
– What makes me the happiest?
– What makes me the most angry?
– What topic would I happily sit in a 12-hour workshop about?
– If I had 20 million dollars in my bank account, and I have to leave the house every day, what would I fill my time with?
Write out 1-3 pages of words for each of these things. Once complete, look for the major patterns throughout what you wrote.
Themes will emerge. You will see what actually matters to you.
Once you’ve discovered what really matters to you, it’s simply a matter of finding a job that meets as many of those needs as possible and committing to it.
This stuff isn’t easy. I believe that it takes the ultimate courage to truly commit to what you are meant to do in the world.
Committing, in itself, is only one part of the journey. You will be tested. You will have to recommit, over and over to your path.
Whatever you are meant to do in this world, do it. If you do, you will be able to die empty… gifts given. If you resist the calling of this path, the parts of yourself that you repress will wreak havoc on your body, mind, and emotions. You will be more prone to addictions, mental disturbances, and engaging in things that help you numb you out to your general state of malaise.
As an added benefit to deciding to live out your passion, you, by default, will end up perpetually growing more and contributing more. And, in my experience of 10+ years of being a professional relationship coach and talking to people from all walks of life, people are never happier than when they are 1) giving, and 2) growing.
Live your passion. You are going to die anyway. Whether you die tomorrow, or in 80 years is entirely beyond your control. So you might as well fill your time with something meaningful that lights your heart on fire.
If you are fortunate enough to be able to read these words (have access to the internet, have enough time on your hands to read articles on the internet, etc.), then you owe it to the world to engage your passions. Don’t you dare settle and phone it in in your life? You have big shoes to fill, and it is your responsibility alone to fill them.
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
7. Become more self-sufficient.
This point will only matter for some of you.
For the long-term lone wolf, points #10 and 11 will likely be more valuable to you than this one (and you can go ahead and skip this point). Some men are already self-sufficient enough and need to lean into the gifts of friendship and community.
But for many modern men, self-sufficiency is a necessary growth edge to lean into.
Do you call your mother at the slightest sign of stress in your life?
Do you call a handyman to do the most basic of home repairs?