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How To Be The Man She Deserves

The sacred pause

“The relationship between husband and wife should be one of closest friends.” – B. R. Ambedkar

He hasn’t been listening to her. He’s been stuck in a response. She said she wants to spend more time with him. He sees that.

He breathes into his feeling body. And leaves his reactive self. He connects with his emotional state. And feels sad about her sadness.

He remembers something I said to him once – A person not connected to his heart has no compass.

Breathe, listen, and let go, he says to himself.

Connected to his sadness, he breathes again. She really does love me, he thinks. She not only wants more from me, but she wants more of me. He smiles.

He remembers to let go. He detaches from his immediate reactions.

From there, he realizes, it’s not about him. It’s about her. She’s having challenges. Not him. He relaxes even more. His compassion grows. He appreciates her speaking her truth.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says, smiling. “Thank you for letting me know that you want to spend more time with me. I know it’s been hard lately. I want more time with you too.”

“You do?” she says. Everything softens in her. Her smile grows, as does his.

Read: 5 Ways to Make Your Woman Feel Loved

He is a powerful man, strong in heart, big in capacity. One who can hold her desires without cracking. One who can see her when she can’t see herself.

And she does the same for him. This is an empowered couple.

Written by Stuart Motola
Originally appeared in Stuart Motola

Being a man is easy – Being a man she deserves is easier

“A good husband makes a good wife.” – John Florio

Understand this: love is easy. So is being a man.

Despite all the challenges of life, loving your woman is NOT a difficult thing to do. All she wants is for you to show her that you care. That she matters to you. And although she may seem nagging and irritating at times, all she needs from you is to show her how much you appreciate her and how special she is to you. So go ahead and look into her eyes, smile, and tell her those 3 simple words with all the love in your heart.

“I love you!”

Communication and time are the keys to a happy and healthy relationship. Avoiding your partner, no matter what your reason is, will only weaken the connection you share with each other and push her farther away from you. So make sure you listen to what she is actually trying to tell you, understand what she needs from you and give her all the happiness she deserves. After all, she is the woman of your dreams.

Here’s a great video from psychotherapist Esther Perel on how to build a great relationship:

A Time To Love: How To Be The Man She Deserves
How To Be The Man She Deserves
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How To Be The Man She Deserves
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Stuart Motola

Stuart Motola specializes in helping individuals and couples attract and maintain a fulfilling partnership. He helps individuals attract who they seek (i.e. date more effectively), kill the voice of desperation and aloneness, and know the difference between a love that makes you big versus a love that makes you small. He teaches couples how to repair after conflict, cut unconscious cycles of projection and blame, communicate more responsibly, and to take risks to reignite passion and aliveness. Stuart has shared his expertise as a coach, author, speaker, and facilitator throughout the world and wrote the #1 Amazon best-selling book “Fixing You Is Killing Me: A Conscious Roadmap To Knowing When To Save And When To Leave Your Relationship.”View Author posts