Planning to break up? But not sure you have good enough reasons to call it quits? There are many bad reasons to end a relationship that can make you feel like you have lost The One.
Relationships are complicated and can often feel like a maze that you endlessly navigate through to find your way out. But often it can leave us feeling confused, wondering if the relationship is worth all the trouble. I know several couples, including me, who almost broke up with their partners when they were going through rough tides. But thank god they didn’t.
Sometimes breakups are a bad idea
Relationships take effort. A lot of effort. Some days you will feel like putting in that effort, some days you will expect your partner to put in that effort. When both of you put in the same effort, make the sacrifices and express your love to the other person genuinely, you feel like your relationship is worth all the trouble. That effort will help you get through the dark days and give you the strength to make the relationship work, instead of ending a perfectly good relationship.
Although there are a lot of good reasons to end a relationship, like lies, abuse, and manipulation, there are a ton of really bad reasons to end a relationship. As long as you are happy with your partner and feel good about yourself in the relationship, you should always fight for it. Fight to defend it. To nourish it. And to help it thrive.
Related: 10 Signs You Shouldn’t End Your Relationship
You should always take a second look at your decision to break up with a good person from a different perspective and identify if your reasons hold up or if they sound silly. A relationship that feels fulfilling and makes you happy is hard to come by and it would be a shame to let it go for petty reasons.
Bad reasons to end a relationship with someone you love
Relationships taste sour at times. But that’s no reason to throw it in the drain. The best relationships are not always adorned with flowers and rainbows. It can be complicated, it can be dark at times, but when the light of love shines through, you’ll be glad you followed your heart and stuck with The One for you.
If you don’t want to turn your partner into ‘The One That Got Away and end up drowning in regret, here are 5 bad reasons to end a relationship that you should take a look at –
1. You think the timing is not right
Do you believe that the timing is not the most ideal to be in a committed relationship? Do you think you have a lot going on in your life to deal with the ups and downs of your relationship? Well, welcome to adulthood, my friend. Adult life is never ideal. We have to deal with a lot and all of it is a top priority starting from your career and finances to family, responsibilities, personal health, social obligations, and whatnot. But if you think all this is a hindrance in your path to a happy relationship, then I am sorry to say it is one of the bad reasons to end a relationship.
In fact, this is the very reason why you should be in a healthy relationship. A good partner can give you the strength and support to navigate through life’s challenges and find happiness in your daily life. Timing may sound like the perfect reason to get a divorce or a breakup, but it is nothing but a shitty excuse. When we love someone and want to be with them, we will make the time no matter how busy our life is. Timing is definitely one of the wrong reasons to break up.
Related: 8 Most Common Mistakes That End Even The Happiest Relationships
2. You don’t feel happy all the time
If you believe that a healthy relationship should make you feel insanely happy every second of your life, you can blame Hollywood and their stupid rom-coms for that. Reality is very different from the fiction you read or watch. There are no happily ever afters in real life. Real relationships are full of arguments, disagreements, boredom, and tons of “meh” moments. But it is also full of love, care, support, trust, and respect – things that don’t necessarily make you feel excited and happy all the time. But these are the foundations of a loving relationship that build your self-esteem, make you feel satisfied & content, and help you find inner peace. That is what love is about.
It’s not your partner’s job to make you happy or the other way around. Two people enter a relationship to share their pain and joy, not to make the other person feel happy. You are responsible for your own happiness. And if your reason for breaking up is that your partner doesn’t make you happy, then ask yourself what you are doing to make yourself happy?
I am not saying that you should stay in a relationship where you feel unhappy, but it should not be your partner’s responsibility to make you happy. These are two very different things. Your partner is not the solution to or the escape from your problems. Your partner may not be perfect, but as long as they truly love you, put in the effort to make your relationship work. And as for happiness, work on yourself, pursue your passions, practice self-love and you’re golden. Let’s move on to the other bad reasons to end a relationship.
Related: 6 Mistakes That Can Kill A Great Relationship
3. You have unmet expectations
Ah yes, expectations – the destroyer of relationships. Expectations, when left unchecked and uncommunicated, can spell doom for even the healthiest and happiest relationships. The problem with unreasonable and unrealistic expectations in a relationship is that we expect our partners to understand our needs and fulfill them without us expressing it clearly. And this is a recipe for disappointment. If you are willing to break up because your partner didn’t do that thing you expected them to, then you need to realize that your partner does not have mind-reading abilities.
Moreover, your partner is not your servant; he or she is NOT bound to meet your every need. And the same applies to you. Your partner may feel overwhelmed with your unrealistic expectations and even after trying their best, they may feel they are not good enough for you. Contrarily, you may resent them for not meeting your expectations which are justified inside your head. Issues like these can create cracks in the emotional connection you two share and eventually lead to an early end of an otherwise beautiful relationship.
It is normal to have expectations from a romantic relationship, but it is important that you determine that such expectations are reasonable and clearly communicate them with your partner. When you communicate openly, you won’t feel the need to break up. Unhealthy expectations are surely one of the bad reasons to end a relationship.
Related: Why Long Lasting Relationships Require Healthy Relationship Expectations
4. You have different tastes
Why is this your excuse to leave a good relationship instead of your reason to be with them? Just imagine all the new things you can learn and explore if you simply get out of your comfort zone. And the same goes for your partner. Ever heard of the old saying ‘opposites attract’?
Yes, dating someone who is different from you can be really difficult. There are always differing opinions, different choices, options, and the need to decide without offending your partner. But being different from one another does not have to be a deal-breaker. Dating a person with different tastes can help you discover and explore new areas of interest, hobbies, places, restaurants, and activities. In fact, by sharing your own unique preferences and inclinations, you can help your partner learn about your world and discover new things.
This journey can be challenging, but exciting. Can you imagine how boring it would be if you dated someone who is an exact clone of you? As long as you and your partner share certain common values, principles, and goals, it is actually healthy to have different interests. Is it really worth breaking up with someone simply because they don’t like eating Chinese? (Food, I mean Chinese food).
Having different tastes is, in fact, one of the reasons to not end a relationship
Related: Do Opposites Really Attract And Is That A Problem?
5. You argue and fight often
This one also goes to the list of bad reasons to end a relationship.
Yes, it’s a cliché that fighting is good for a healthy relationship. But the honest to god fact is fighting feels terrible, especially when you do it with someone you like, or even love. You feel hurt and misunderstood, your ego takes over and your self-esteem takes a beating. So how can this be good for your relationship? How is this one of the bad reasons to end a relationship?
Arguments allow you to voice your true opinions and genuine feelings to your partner without worrying about them judging you or leaving you. No relationship is perfect and fighting never feels super awesome. But with conflict, comes conflict resolution. Our willingness to ignore our need to be right over our desire to love our partner is what strengthens our relationships. All of us want to feel happy and peaceful, but not at the cost of suppressing our true emotions nor by pretending that everything is fine.
Miscommunication, disagreements, and temporary fights allow you to release your frustrations. Although in the heat of the moment you may feel like leaving them, arguments allow you to show that you care enough about your partner to argue with them. Arguments help us to understand our partner’s feelings and perspectives and bring empathy and compassion into the relationship.
However, if your partner is intentionally trying to hurt or demean you, then it is NOT a sign of a healthy relationship. Healthy arguments and abuse are not the same things. So if you are fighting to get your point across and then put in the effort to sort things out with your romantic partner, then fighting does not have to be a reason to break up.
Related: 8 Questions to Ask Before You End Your Relationship
More dumb, bad reasons to end a relationship
No, no. We are not done yet. Yes, you have many more reasons to break up, but are they good enough for you to walk away?
If you are still wondering about when to end a relationship, then I have some more bad reasons to end a relationship for you to know about –
6. You have a fear of commitment
Relationship is a process where you and your partner grow and thrive together. There are no guarantees in a relationship. So instead of thinking about commitment in the long run, take one step at a time and build your connection from the ground up.
7. You are attracted to others
Or your partner is attracted to other people. But isn’t that normal? It is okay to notice, acknowledge and admire other attractive people from a healthy distance. It doesn’t mean you are less attractive nor is it a sign of infidelity. So is this one of the bad reasons to end a relationship? Absolutely yes!
Related: Should You Break Up If They Cheat?
8. You are worried about money
Financial conflicts can lead to serious issues, but as long as you can sort out your financial woes with communication, collaboration, and compromise from both sides, you can make it work. Deal with your financial challenges as a team.
9. You hate their bad habits
One of the most common bad reasons to end a relationship. Bad habits of your partner can be annoying. But when you communicate openly, empathize with them and support them in building better habits, your relationship can thrive. It’s not a reason to break up.
10. Your partner does not follow your lead
Power dynamics can be a real issue, but you can’t keep bossing your partner around. Neither can your partner do so. A relationship is a team-up where both of you take decisions together while having the freedom to do what you want.
Ending things is not always the best solution
There are many more bad reasons to end a relationship just as there are numerous good reasons to break up. It all comes down to your connection, intimacy, and boundaries.
Relationships can be messy, but beautiful. Just like we are. Relationships are a work in progress and you should not jump to the end at the slightest inconvenience. If you want to break up, do so, but after giving it considerable thought and judging all aspects of your relationship.
It is hard to find and build a good relationship. So think wisely before you call it quits.
Got more bad reasons to end a relationship? Or do you have some really good reasons to leave a relationship? Let us know below.
Related: Why We Can’t Breakup With A Soulmate
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