Do you Have a Rare Personality? Take The Personality Test Below and Find Out!

Are you ready to learn more about yourself? Do you have a rare personality? Take The Test Below and Find Out!

I think the better you understand who you really are, the better you become at making better decisions for yourself.

So, what are you waiting for?

Simply by looking at the image and letting us know what you see first, you have the potential to unlock lots of information about yourself you might not have known before.

Good luck!

Do you have a Rare Personality? Click on Lets Play below to find out.

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Is Your Personality Type Rare? Take The Test Below and Find Out!
Is Your Personality Type Rare? Take The Test Below and Find Out!

What To Do When You Feel Hatred Towards Another Person

Hatred is typically defined as being an intense dislike towards another person.  You have a right to dislike someone, but to HATE someone usually means that there is something that is unresolved energetically and needs to be looked at.

Not to mention, hatred is a very destructive and toxic feeling to carry around with you, and it often times can drive you mad.  It can also lead to physical illness and contribute to spiritual and mental instability.  

Life is too short to carry around hatred for another person when it can be resolved, so let’s take a look at some things you can do when you feel this intense feeling towards another person:

1) Ask yourself, “Is this even true?”

We get into a habit of taking our initial thoughts and emotions as absolute truth, when the majority of the time they are just egoic impulses and reactions.  And even when they aren’t mere reactions and are actually grounded in some truth, we still tend to create unnecessary stories around a situation and believe them into existence.  Let me give you an example.

Let’s say a friend of yours goes behind your back and smears you on social media and sleeps with your ex.  A story that would initially arise in our minds may be something like “That person betrayed me, and I hate them for that”.  Now notice what happens in your energy field when we take that story and replace it with “That person manifested a behaviour that was aligned with their level of consciousness at the time, and they clearly lack the insight and wisdom to see that was inappropriate.”.

They are both true, but one comes from a place of unconsciousness and turns you into a victim, while the other comes from a place of higher understanding and gives you your power back.  Or maybe, they didn’t even betray you, they just felt extremely hurt by something you did and said to them without you even realizing it and they didn’t know how to express their pain properly.  We often fail to question if we had anything to do with their behaviour.  Check inside yourself for false stories AND for how may have contributed energetically to the situation.

The next time you feel hate towards somebody, question the story you keep telling yourself in your head about the situation.  If you are at all like me, you will find that the story running through your mind about the person you hate is not only useless, it is almost always untrue.

2) Express it to them

One of the worst pieces of advice we get upset or angry is to just “get over it”.  This typically only results in resentment towards the other person and just puts a blanket over uncommunicative thoughts and emotions.  As uncomfortable as it may be at times, and as resistant you may be to being open and honest with the other person, the best thing you can do is communicate it to them.  Say exactly what you mean,

Keeping anger towards another person inside yourself is like holding on to a flame and expecting the other person to get burnt.  You owe it to yourself out of self-love alone to be honest and open with someone as a way to release yourself from the burden of carrying around something that needs to be communicated.  And when you do communicate it, you will often find that the story you were telling yourself about them as untrue or incomplete.

You have a mouth and vocal chords for a reason.  Don’t be afraid to use them!

3) Release

If you have looked at your story from different perspectives, have considered how you may have played a role in their behaviour, and if you express yourself to that other person from a place of sincerity, groundedness, and honesty, then your job is essentially done. If they still aren’t willing to listen, then you have to accept that they are simply not operating from a state of consciousness that is ready to be open and transparent.  Being frustrated and resentment that they aren’t hearing you out will only cause you more suffering.

Accept that they may not have the self-honesty or wisdom necessary to see things from your point of view, and move on knowing that you have done your part.  ”Releasing” yourself from something doesn’t just meaning not thinking about it anymore.  To release does not mean to forget or suppress.  Sometimes, it requires deep meditation and ceremonial efforts to cleanse yourself and fully forgive the other person.

We Fall In Love With 3 People In Our Lifetime – Each One for a Specific Reason.

“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.” ~ Unknown

Usually, a person falls in love with 3 people in his/her lifetime before they know what love really means.

The reason for loving these three different types of people is also very different. We all need these three types of love to teach us distinct lessons in life.

First love: The Love that Looks Right

The first love usually happens when we are still in high school or sometimes even younger. This love is somewhat similar to what we have read as kids. It is the idealistic love.

We want to do it for the sake of society, for our families, mostly while trying to overcome peer pressure. We tend to believe this love will last forever and even if it doesn’t feel the most right thing we want to do it.  We are ready to ignore our personal truths, but all we want is to make it work somehow because our heart believes that this is what love is.

This type of love feels perfect, emotionally overwhelming and all-consuming. We are ready to sacrifice everything to make it work because we are confident of its credibility. Why would we want to think of others when we are in love? That’s because this type of love makes us care more about how people look at us than how we feel about ourselves.

It perfectly fits into the imagination that we have about love.

The second love: The Hard Love

The second love can be called hard love, the love that teaches us tough lessons the hard way.

Going through this love one understands who they are and the need for love in one’s life. It brings hurt as most of the people are manipulated and lied to by their lovers. In this type of love, one encounters pain.

We still have so many illusions that need to be broken. When think we have learned a great deal and are making better choices, but in truth, we still opt from the need to learn the bitter truths of life. Despite the pain, we want to work it as long as possible. Even if one relationship gets over, we keep getting back to the same types of relationships and make the same choices. Every time we think things would be different this time, but the end is worse than before.

Making the wrong choices leads us to wrong people. We end up getting into unbalanced relationships. Relationships which are unhealthy. And also with narcissists as we still haven’t developed the power of judgment that helps us distinguish between the right and wrong people. We get subjected to mental, physical and emotional abuse, but still, we want to stick to such relationships. There are such extreme highs and lows that one feels as if they are riding on an emotional roller coaster. That prevents us from quitting because we are always ready to face the lows in the hope of the highs.

When in this type of love, trying to make it last is what seems more important than if it should exist at all.

We wish with all our heart this love were right. We badly want it to be that way.

The third love : The Love that Lasts

And then there is the third type of love. We have never imagined it and never thought such love could be right for us.

It destroys any ideas that we had about how love should be. We fall into it so easily that it seems impossible. We can’t even explain the connection that binds us with the other person. Yet, we are swept off our feet because we had no plans to have such an experience.

In this type of love we just meet this person and everything falls in place. Even without our knowing everything just fits. This happens because one does not think or rather remember that they must behave in a particular manner or any pressure to be other than what they naturally are.

We are accepted for what we are. There is no coloring, no makeup – just our plane authentic self. This realization reverberates deep within our souls.

The 3 Best Women To Marry (According To The Zodiac Signs)

The 3 Best Women To Marry (According To The Zodiac Signs)

Are you looking for a life partner who you are compatible with? Here are 3 best women to marry according to their zodiacs.

There’s no question zodiac signs can reveal a lot about a person’s character. This may be of particular interest to men planning to get married. If you are about to pop the question, read on and find out which zodiac signs make the best wives.

The three best women to marry, according to your zodiac sign:

 

1. The Cancer Queen

Cancer women have intense emotions for their partners. Their love is unconditional and they’ll do anything for the person they love. If you’re marrying a Cancer woman, it means that you’ve made the right choice. This woman will go great lengths to make you happy.

However, they are prone to dramatizing, even about trivial things, but this is nothing compared to the other benefits you get from marrying a Cancer woman.

These women will do anything to make a cozy, warm home for you and your family. Plus, they are great in the kitchen, which means you’ll enjoy delicious recipes on your dining table.

Cancer women are dedicated and loving mothers and to them, children always come first. The thing she looks for in her husband is love and honesty.

 

2. The Empress Aries

According to astrologers, Aries are women who make their men fall on their knees. They are extremely strong and unyielding – they will do all it takes to achieve their goals. If you think you are strong enough to spend your life with this strong and brave woman, go for it, but, you should always have in mind to keep the flame burning. She will expect your help and support in everything she does. For this, you’ll soon enjoy a high social status as everyone will start treating you with respect. Aries women are capable of making their men stronger, more responsible and worthy of attention. They are very down-to-earth and have realistic expectations from the people around them.

 

The Reason Why People With Blood Type 0 Are So Special

Blood type 0 is the primal blood type of our ancestors who were cunning, aggressive predators.

People with this blood type play important roles in any society, even to this day. The leadership, proactivity, energy and ability to stay focused are among the best qualities of people with blood type 0. They can be powerful and productive.

However, when they are under stress they may become angry, hyperactive and impulsive. Poor diet, lack of exercise, unhealthy habits or elevated stress levels, are making them more sensitive to adverse metabolic effects, including insulin resistance, low activity of the thyroid gland and obesity.

People with blood type 0 are predisposed to some health issues like ulcers, thyroid gland dysfunction, low hormone level on the thyroid gland, and iodine deficiency. This causes a lot of unwanted effects like obesity, water retention, and even tumors.

 

What Makes This Blood Type So Unique?

In Japan, this blood type has long been associated with a particular type of personality. Japanese people are often asked about their blood type when interviewing for a job! People with the blood type 0 are most often described as a responsible, committed, organized, focused, conscientious and practical.

It is believed that they can orient better and they are better logicians. That’s because their ancestors were hunters who had to observe and accurately evaluate the environment, in order to be able to survive.

As already mentioned, people with this blood type are predisposed to get certain diseases like ulcers and thyroid gland dysfunction. In addition, they often have a low level of hormones in the thyroid gland and are iodine deficient.

They also have higher levels of stomach acid than other blood types, often resulting in stomach irritation and stomach ulcers.

Stress can be caused by excessive anger and hyperactivity. People with this blood type are more vulnerable to destructive behavior when they are overly tired, depressed or bored.

This can include gambling, seeking excitement, risk-taking and impulsivity. Caffeine and alcohol need to be avoided.

Caffeine can be particularly harmful because of raising the adrenaline and nor-adrenaline levels, which are already high in people with this blood type. Regular physical activity is required 3 to 4 times a week.

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Today I Rise: This Beautiful Short Film Is Like A Love Poem For Your Heart And Soul

Today I Rise: This Beautiful Short Film Is Like A Love Poem For Your Heart And Soul

“The world is missing what I am ready to give: My Wisdom, My Sweetness, My Love and My hunger for Peace.”

Today I Rise is a stunningly beautiful short film that will only take you a few minutes to watch, but will inspire you for an eternity. The words and nostalgic images play a melody of love upon your heart-strings.

Where are you?
Little girl with broken wings but full of hope
Where are you?
Wise woman covered in wounds”

More than a few of us need beautiful words like these to remind us of the strength we have inside- especially at those moments when we feel our weakest.

“I weep with the trees and the rivers and the earth in distress
I rise and shine and I’m ready to go on my quest”

 

Acupressure Points on Your Body That Can Help Relieve Stress & Anxiety

Have you got an upcoming event marked in your calendar with a red circle of fear?

Anxiety makes appearances in everybody’s lives at some point, but this feeling of worry or anxiety should subside once the event has passed. For some, this stress remains, or worse, manifests itself in other situations further down the line.

Anxiety, as you’re probably aware, is a stress response which involves a sense of fear or dread, coupled with apprehension. With this comes a heightened state of arousal, which prepares your body for a fight or flight response, necessary to keep you out of harm’s way.

It does this by triggering a flood of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol that help you respond in an emergency situation but aren’t so useful when you’re about to give a presentation.

Chronic Anxiety

When anxiety becomes chronic, which is, unfortunately, the case for an estimated 40 million Americans, it can increase your risk for a number of mental and physical health problems further down the line. Being in an anxious state for prolonged periods of time could actually cause your brain to become wired for it, triggering anxiety in situations that make you feel even only slightly uncomfortable.

Not only is this draining on an emotional level, but as we know, these chemical imbalances have a physical manifestation, so you could be damaging your body if you leave chronic stress or anxiety untreated.

What is Tapping?

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) otherwise known as ‘tapping’ is a form of acupressure based on the ancient art of acupuncture (no needles here, though- phew!)

It uses the same energy meridians that have been used in acupuncture for over 5000 years to stimulate energy flow from specific points, but ties everything back to an emotional core through voicing your concerns. This is the key to tapping, as it works on a physical plane (like acupuncture does), but also on an emotional one.

By outwardly vocalizing the things currently causing you stress while tapping on energy meridians, you begin to suppress a lot of anxiety surrounding certain issues. EFT is an energy psychology tool that essentially rewires the brain, reversing the effects of chronic anxiety and their associated problems. Think of it as a reprogramming tool for your brain’s circuitry.

What’s going on in the brain?

Generally, we think of our memories as belonging to the past, but draw up a memory now, think of what you had for breakfast this morning for example, and you’ll see that to remember something, you have to re-experience it in the present moment.

Our subconscious understands memories as current events. This gives you access to them in the present moment, as well as the ability to alter your body’s response to them.

The National Institute of Mental Health explains how the brain creates anxiety: “The amygdala is an almond-shaped structure deep in the brain that is believed to be a communications hub between the parts of the brain that process incoming sensory signals and the parts that interpret these signals. It can alert the rest of the brain that a threat is present and trigger a fear or anxiety response.”

Through tapping and recalling stressors simultaneously, your brain receives both messages at once, and you are able to send a message to the amygdala and hippocampus that tells them to calm down.

Think of the brain as part of the body’s system of energy. These meridian points give you a very strong connection to it. Tapping on these points essentially smooths out energy disruptions and just as acupuncture has been used for thousands of years to treat physical manifestations of pain, these same energy points can be stimulated to calm emotional manifestations of stress.

What’s going on in the body?

Tapping has also been shown to lower levels of cortisol, one of the stress-causing chemicals we mentioned earlier. One study by a Harvard researcher found a drop in the levels of the stress hormone of an average of 24% in subjects treated with EFT when those treated with talk therapy (and the control group receiving nothing) showed no such reduction.

Recent research has also shown that tapping increases positive emotions such as hope and enjoyment while decreasing negative emotional states like anxiety.

How can you start tapping?

This technique is really easy to learn and to implement into your day-to-day life. It can be practiced anywhere and at any time as it requires no equipment or specific conditions to really work in, though you do need to vocalize about your anxieties, so finding a private space might be preferable.

5 Ways Buddhists Deal With Anger

Everybody gets angry. Whether it’s mild irritation or flaming rage, we experience it every day and there are few of us for whom this is not, at some point, a serious problem.

By “problem” I mean “soul sucking, productivity leaching, blood pressure soaring, jaw clenching, dark aftermath generating” state. This is what, in more genteel Buddhist parlance, is called an “afflictive emotion”, or in other words, a mental state that causes suffering.

Eliminating suffering is the raison d’etre of Buddhism. In the Buddha’s own words: “Both formerly and now I teach only one thing: the nature of suffering and it’s ending.” And anger does cause suffering. You might at this point object that we need anger. Perhaps.  Yet most of the things we think we need anger for — fighting injustice, fleeing danger, protecting ourselves — are actually better done when not angry. When we are calm, collected and ruled by love instead of anger we are actually more insightful, more effective, more vital, and more enduring in confronting problems whether public or personal. We need, then, a way to free ourselves of angry mental states when they arise.

Here are five ways that the Buddha suggested we do that.

1) Consider what anger does to you.

As the Buddha pointed out, an angry person wishes that their enemy should sleep badly, suffer losses, be ugly and have people turn against them. Yet all of these things are what in fact happen to the angry person! The angry person sleeps poorly. Their work suffers. They don’t enjoy what they have. People avoid them. And there is nothing uglier to look at than an angry person. If you don’t believe that, the next time you are angry look at yourself in the mirror. (Kodhana Sutta, AN 7.60)

 

2) Find some good in the one you are angry at.

This takes humility. So much so that the Buddha used the metaphor of someone who is very thirsty coming across an elephant’s footprint in the jungle. Just happened to you the other day, right? Anyway, the footprint is filled with rainwater. So they get down on their hands and knees and drink the water. When we are angry the other person often looks distorted to us — ill-intentioned, stupid, willfully bad. We do not see any good in them, and this biased perception just feeds our anger. If we can humble ourselves in our righteous anger and kneel down, metaphorically, we can find the good in our “enemy”, and when we do that they will inevitably appear to us less like an enemy. Calm can be restored and healing can begin.

3) Remember something good that they did to you.

As well as not being entirely evil (chances are) this person has most likely, at some point, done you a good turn, even a small one. The truth is that considering the people we get most angry with are often those closest to us, they have probably done you more than one good turn. Remembering this has the same effect as the previous reflection — it takes the wind out of the engine of demonization at work in your mind.

4) Visualization.

The Buddha was pretty intense on the non-anger thing. He said that even if someone were to cut you to pieces with a two-handed saw, if you got angry you wouldn’t be a true disciple of his (Kakacupama Sutta, MN 21). After setting that bar the Buddha advised that one meditate like the earth, like empty space, like a flowing river. One should visualize oneself as like the earth: no matter what people put on it or how they dig in it, it is still the earth. Likewise, one should remain oneself in the face of anger: vast and calm like the earth.

“Empty space and a flowing river” are alternative visualizations that work in the same way: space is not stained, and a river does not stop flowing or change colours. Of course, in our current time of massive pollution, “space, earth and river” may actually be overcome by what they come into contact with. Perhaps if the negativity we are exposed to seems likely to pollute us beyond our ability to cope, we should visualize ourselves like someone riding away into the sunset and gently take our leave. 

5) Meditation.

This is the meditation of preventive medicine. In some streams of Buddhism it is traditional to begin and end every meditation session with something called “metta bhavana”, or “the cultivation of loving kindness”. In this meditation exercise you evoke feelings of goodwill, or love. You start with yourself, thinking, “May I be well. May I be happy. May I be at ease.” It may help to picture yourself radiantly happy and at your best. Then extend this wish out to others, starting with those you know and love and moving out in ever-widening circles to those you know less well, don’t know at all, and finally, those you dislike or are angry with. Visualize them well, happy, and at their best and think, “May they be well. May they be happy. May they be at ease.” Remember that if people you dislike, or those who have hurt you, were as well as you are currently wishing them, they would no longer be unlikeable and would be less likely to hurt you, or anyone else, again.

How You Deal With Depression, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

How You Deal With Depression, based on your zodiac sign

Do you know how your zodiac sign deal with your depression?

Astrology is a very complex science that certainly can reveal very deep-seated patterns in our psyches.

By analyzing each of the 12 signs of the zodiac, I feel I can shed some light in general per sign for you. Remember these are general per sign; you very well may have planets in other signs that compensate for what is said.

Here is how you deal with depression, according to your zodiac sign:

1. ARIES  –

The Ram is seldom depressed unless other forces are at work. I have seen Aries who are offspring of parents who overly-cautioned them. This can be very serious because the Aries has been taught to not trust their instincts. Therefore, it becomes hard for them to get in touch with their fire (zest for life.) Aries are not to be cautioned. They thirst for activity and adventure.

The cure for Aries is to get more active and get into more adventures where they can challenge themselves. Adrenalin junkies. Usually, they don’t have to contend with depression too much though – as is true with all fire signs.

 

2. TAURUS  –

Taurus is an unusual sign because they are fixed and earth. In general, Taureans have ONE mood – steady-as-she-goes. Usually possessing an even temperament, this sign hovers just above the level of depression. It’s a hard sign to get excited.

Fixed signs are exactly as described. If they do get depressed, I have a few answers for them. Usually, the best way out is a good meal, a bath, something tactile. Taureans really know how to feast the senses and are very sensual. Usually, they don’t get too depressed but stay on a nice even keel.

 

3. GEMINI  –

This flighty air sign is seldom depressed. Boredom is more of their bane. There are so many new discoveries to be found for the Twins that they can usually wait 2 minutes, and the depression will pass. It is hard for Gemini to get in touch with deeper feelings – it’s just not their nature. Because of this, if they do have deeply disturbed feelings hiding underground, their depression can often be expressed by sudden, sharp outbursts of criticism.

When it is hard to dig deep, introspect and uproot old painful memories, they can be haunted by them. A real favorable quality for Gemini is their ever-inquisitive, sharp intellect. They are obsessed with how the mind works and can usually figure out what’s bothering them. The main thing they must do is not run from or evade their hurts. Gemini is the evader of the zodiac. Many times they would be much better off if they can just slow down, take a breath and face the music.

 

16 People Reveal Gender Double Standards That Drive Them Absolutely Crazy

Someone asked on Reddit “What is a male/female double standard that really drives you crazy?”, below are the best responses we found


1. Single parents. Single father? He’s a hero! Single mother? She’s made questionable life choices and is probably easy.

-GladThatYoureHere


2. This one might be just where I live, but I notice it a lot.

When a guy holds onto his V-Card he’s labeled as incapable of picking up chicks. But if a girl is holding onto it then she’s praised for it.

-77remix


3. I was at wedding recently where a drunk bridesmaid was trying to pick up any single guys she could. She latched on to a coworker and wouldn’t let go. She was literally grabbing his junk and trying to rip off his shirt. I ended up stepping in and reminding her about the finer points of consent (like “no means no”).

when I tell the story most people go “lucky guy”. Because a guy isn’t allowed to not be interested in having sex with someone? Come on!

-SillySafetyGirl


4. Once my sister had a pool party at our house when she was 14 or so. I was 12. I was the only boy and still wanted to swim so I hung out with them. All the parents were inside the air conditioning. When I was out of the pool they thought it would be funny to pants me and take my suit. There were like 8 girls so I couldn’t do anything and they held me and laughed up a storm. They kept me that way for what felt like an eternity although it was probably only a few minutes. I ran in to tell my folks, crying that kid cry where you can’t catch your breath. They did nothing. Opened up the sliding glass door and yelled “leave him alone”. That was it.

I think back to that and try to think of an adults reaction if it was 8 of my buddies and we were 14 and we did that to a girl.

-NoTime4LoveDrJones


5. Girls at club can be very pushy and forward about hooking up with a guy. Other way around it’s borderline sexual assault. This is coming from a girl.

-zarrenfication


6. When was the last time you saw a man in a yogurt commercial? I like yogurt too, dammit.

-rredleaderstandingby


7. I’m a female doctor, and I frequently fly with a few items of medical equipment (stethoscope, otoscope, etc). I put it in its own separate bag/bin, because they always search it. The TSA agent, while searching the bag will ask everyone else in line, “Sir, are you a doctor?” before finally turning to me and asking “Miss, are you a nurse?”.

-arhoglen


8. Opening/holding doors. I open doors for everyone. If I’m there first, and you’re behind me, I’m probably going to hold the door for you, IDGAF who you are. No, YOU INSIST? No, I INSIST, walk through the door and quit wasting everyone’s time. I’ll just stand here and wait.

-hoopharder


9. I’m getting married in 22 days.

Every (no exceptions) professional involved with putting on our wedding has emailed my fiancée, but not me. She’s had to forcibly insert me into the conversations. Even when I am the one who sent the initial email.

The wedding coordinator actually ignored her adding me to the email conversation the first time. She had to add me a second time.

When we talk in person, they attempt to pull her off to the side and discuss the events away from me, since it’ll all be up to her.

Even (some of) our friends have found themselves referring to it as “her big day” before being glared at and reminded that it’s both of us.

People: I am half of the marriage. My opinions about this wedding matter, even if every bridal show/magazine/whatever ever makes it out that the bride demands solitary control. My fiancée, who has an anxiety disorder and gets extremely upset when she has to deal with too many open-ended questions, does not appreciate you taking me out of the conversation, and neither do I.

-darknaught

Reasons Why We Lose Friends as We Get Older

You may notice that, as you grow older, you seem to hang out with a smaller and smaller crowd. The giant mob you went to the movies with in high school thins out a bit when you come home for college break. By the time you hit thirty, your birthday party might attract about ten people – if you’re lucky. However, as the majority of friendships seem to fade, the ones that stick around become stronger and more meaningful than ever before.

HERE ARE THREE GOOD REASONS FOR THIS EFFECT:

1. WE HAVE LESS FREE TIME AS WE GET OLDER.

If you are adulting correctly, you will likely accumulate new responsibilities with each passing year. You will become more important at the office, which will translate into longer hours and more frequent travel. If you are adulting at an advanced level, you may even become active in a church, join a golf team, or start to care deeply about the state of your lawn and garden. If you choose to get married and have children, your time may never truly be your own ever again. As your free time becomes more limited, you will have to become more selective about who you spend it with. The mob of bros you used to hit the bars with are out. Evan and Kate from across the street who have twins the same age as your daughter? So in! It will become so inconvenient to hang out with friends who have a different lifestyle from your own that you will have to really love them to do so. You will only be able to keep the best around.

 

2. WITH LESS FREE TIME COMES LESS TOLERANCE FOR BULLSHIT.

If you are a hardworking lawyer coming off a seventy hour week, or a mother of three with only one night out of the house this month, you will laugh at the thought of spending your precious margarita night with anyone less than spectacular. Gone are the days when you would invite the whole dorm over and giggle long into the night over nothing. As you grow older, you put a higher value on small groups and substantial conversation. Especially if your friend is living a different lifestyle as described above, you don’t want to waste your valuable time together making chit-chat with a table full of people. You want to catch up over a small dinner on the topics that really matter.

 

3. WHO HAS THAT KIND OF ENERGY?

A twenty-year-old is an almost superhuman creature. She can party until sunrise, make it to class the next day, and do it all over again the night after. In living this cycle, she can touch base with dozens of friends per week and hardly need to catch her breath. By our thirties, we become tired. I’m not even there yet, and already my favorite part of the day is when my head hits the pillow. If I’m out of the house any time after 8pm, I must really like you – and I certainly can’t bring that kind of enthusiasm on a daily basis. Meeting new people is a lot of work, and I’ve likely used up all my energy on the very grown up activities outlined in #1. Sorry.

If you are reading this list in your early twenties, don’t worry. It isn’t as sad as it seems. The friends you keep as you get older might not stay out all night at the bar with you, but they will absolutely blow you away with what they do bring to the table. They will bring over medicine for your sick toddler in the middle of the night. They’ll let you cry on their shoulder when you lose your job. They’ll have your children over for a sleepover so you can have some time to process your feelings during a divorce or the death of a loved one.

What you lose in quantity of friendships, you will gain in depth. I promise it’s worth it.

 

 

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Ways To Restore Natural Peace And Quiet In Your Mind

I hear it all the time, ‘I can’t meditate’ or ‘My brain won’t quit’. I used to say it all the time as well. Our mind is a tool meant to create, destroy, probe, mimic and generally be active. I have always enjoyed the imagery of your mind being an infant.

Without care, discipline, and nourishment it becomes unfocused, wild, unproductive, and sometimes violent or aggressive. If we keep it fed and acknowledge it, work with it consistently, it calms down. It may seem quieter, more disciplined and showing signs of growth, but it is still an infant and infants are prone to random outbursts.

Your mind is a tool, as such to serve you better it will wander off and imagine things that are ghastly, or distinctly not us. That’s fine. You are more than your mind. The infants got a hold of scissors, of course it made a mess. The idea behind meditation isn’t to make our mind like a silent mausoleum, it is to keep the mind adaptive while not letting waste energy or have the power to hurt us.

Below are some ways to take back the space between your ears. These are guidelines that you may need to tweak to make fit your needs. As long as the ‘highs and lows’ of your thinking begin to even out and ‘tantrums’ become shorter and less frequent, you are on the right path.

 

1. Focus On Your Breath, Acknowledging What Pops Up

Your focus while meditating should have a singular focal point. I recommend either the rise and fall of your sternum or the feeling of breath inside your nose.

The focal point should have a direct connection to your breath. There are different ways of breathing and counting breath, but I recommend: in breath (that’s one), out breath (that’s two), in breath (that’s three), and so on. There is no need to count higher then ten. This isn’t a mental exercise.

As formations arise look at them without judgment, smile and let them go. At first they will still hang around yammering, but like an infant it’ll get bored and wander off. Anytime you loose track of your breath, restart. Anytime you get to ten, restart. Start to divide your attention from your inner voice, to your inner being, inner health and other voices.

 

2. Bring Intention And Mindfulness Into Your Daily Activities

Throughout your day, whenever you remember, breath to ten while you work or play. Re-word your intentions, or try to focus on only your breath and the task at hand. Watch yourself react and accept that reaction. Then let it go. If you are having a consistent problem with strong negative formations, like suicidal thoughts, then start to carry a pen with you.

Anytime you experience the reoccurring formation stop: make a notch in a book or on your skin (gently!). While you are making only a notch, examine this feeling. Try to see where it is coming from.

Don’t run from it or push it away. This is only endowing it more unproductive energy. Embrace it for what it is and say some nice stuff to yourself. Say it aloud if you have to. Don’t be put off by how hard and painful it is to say, ‘you’re beautiful’. At the end of the day gather up all your scratches and look at them.

Embrace that you are in pain. Smile and thank yourself for growing and trying to try to love yourself. A couple days of this killed my suicidal thoughts, and they have never returned in the same force.

 

3. Meditate Regularly And Often

Set a schedule and do your best to meet it. It doesn’t have to be the same time everyday, but it’s easier to plan your day around it if you do. You don’t have to sit under a tree for days either. Like exercise it is better to do a smaller amount of a period of time, than binge meditate.

 

4. Live In The ‘HERE AND NOW’

The idea behind all these activities is to grow more aware of what is really going on. The future hasn’t happened yet, so all of that are your projections of fear and desire. You are more than your fear and desire so there is no productive reason to grow these formations. We are trying to grow aspects of yourself that don’t normally get attention, your fears and desires are probably getting too much attention.

The relationship to the past is similarly themed in illusions. Even if you had a perfectly clear recollection, what good would it do you? You can’t change the past and carry its lessons with you at all times. Stay in the NOW, see all there is to see and experience what you can. The more you do this the more you will experience in one moment. The stimuli is beautiful!

 

5. Go Connect With Nature

This is about killing your formations, and growing you. Society is all about egos, personae, and heavy emotions. Go into nature and use what you have learned thus far. Experience life being only that, life.

86-Year-Old Woman Sends This Angry Letter to the Bank After They Bounced her Check

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.

My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.

As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH

  • #1. To make an appointment to see me
  • #2. To query a missing payment.
  • #3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
  • #4 To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
  • #5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
  • #6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
  • #7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
  • #8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through.
  • #9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
  • #10. This is a second reminder to press* for English.

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

 

And remember: Don’t make old people mad.

We don’t like being old in the first place,

so it doesn’t take much to p**s us off.

What Your Hands Say About Your Personality

Have you been curious about the lines on your palms? Today we will be sharing in on the study of palmistry. According to Psychic Library, “palmistry reveals individual personality and character traits through the study of the shape, size and lines of the hands and fingers”. Today we will zooming into what the shape of our hands reveal about us!

The History of Palmistry

The practice of palmistry started in India, where it is still a common practice to this day. It is studied in the Vedic spiritual texts. From there, the practice spread to other areas like China, Egypt, Greece and Europe. Prehistoric caves from France and Spain have drawings on their walls of hands with lines drawn in as well.

The idea is that expressions of our thought-patterns and beliefs can appear on our hands. Cleopatra’s beloved Julius Caesar decided on the characters of the men working for him through reading their palms. Fate, however, is not set in stone. According to Gary Markwick, internationally renowned palmist, the lines on our palms and the shapes of our hands can change in just two months! 

Can it all just be thought based? More psychologists and researchers are beginning to learn about what we can find out about a person through their hands. For example, some medical researchers speak of a connection between genetic abnormalities and specific marking on hands such as more ulnar loops.

The Hand Shape

The same way that astrological signs are associated with one of the four elements (fire, water, air and earth), hand shapes are too. The 4 elements each represent different personality traits and temperaments. Some people even believe that hands shapes can reveal which career types are best suited for a person.

Fire Type:

People who have the fire element usually have long and rectangular palms. Their fingers, however, are on the shorter end. Fire types are associated with adventure, gut level instincts and action.

They are known to have a go-getter attitude. Fire types are natural leaders, and are known to be intensely passionate. They have a love for life.  They may also have the tendency to be impatient, or not be so mindful of the effect of their actions on the feelings of other people.

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Earth Type:

People who have the Earth element usually have a square palms and short fingers. Earth types are known to be realistic, dependable and practical. Long-term relationships can feel more natural to them.

They are known to love being in nature, and are very sensual, aware of all their senses. Like mother earth, earth types can work at a natural, rhythmic pace. Due to their orientation towards practical matters, they may be prone to becoming too caught up with work, hoarders, or stubborn.

Water Type:

People with the water element generally have short oval palms and long, slender fingers.  They are known to be highly creative, imaginative and emotionally attuned individuals. This comes with its own pros and cons.

They are natural healers, with compassionate, caring and giving hearts. They are generally good at relationships, and the flow of love comes naturally to them. However, their level of emotional attunement can make them more susceptible to anxiety and depression. They may also be prone to manipulative tendencies if not feeling right. Emotions may also dictate their lives heavily.

Air Type:

People with the air element can have either a square shaped or rectangle shaped palm, but have long fingers. However, the length of the palms and fingers are usually equal. Air types are known as the intellectuals, the ones who can’t help but do an analysis of the world. Their heads are known to buzz with multiple ideas at once.

They are known to possess strong intellectual abilities, and can offer fresh and innovative interpretations and solutions. They are also strong communicators and charming in their own ways.  According to beliefnet.com, an air person may “think before he feels, and sometimes thinks instead of feeling”. Due to this tendency, people around them may perceive them as dethatched or unconcerned with others.

Did You Check?

Do you find this analysis according to palmistry true for you? Did you know that you aren’t just influenced by one sign? For example, you may be a Libra, but have your Venus in Virgo. This would mean that in your relationship life, you would possess Virgo tendencies.

In the same way, other aspects of your hands can reveal more depth about your personality. Look out for more articles by us, to share what your hands may graciously reveal about you!

Growing Through Trauma: How To Not Let A Bad Childhood Define Your Life

Growing Through Trauma How To Not Let A Bad Childhood Define Your Life

Leonardo da Vinci, Isaac Newton and Sigmund Freud are three of the most revered geniuses in human history. They changed the artistic landscape, changed the way we see the universe and even changed the way we see ourselves. However, the one thing that they have in common is they all had terrible childhoods.

A bad start to life can be a grave setback for anyone. As a child, you are often a product of your environment, helpless to any physical and emotional abuse that you are subjected to. Da Vinci, Newton, and Freud are an example to anyone that faced a difficult beginning that it doesn’t have to define you. 

It is a challenge that I have faced myself. Growing up in a home with a frequently absent and near silent father as a result of PTSD after serving in the army and a manic depressive mother, neither myself or my two brothers had a particularly settled existence – although I was lucky to have two loving, albeit flawed parents. In comparison with many people, I had a harmonious childhood.

In spite of the more severe struggles that you may have faced during your upbringing, it is crucial to learn from your experiences and not let them negatively affect the rest of your life. It is a struggle that millions of people around the world contend with every day.

However, there are ways to ensure that the painful experiences that you faced shape you into a better, more empathetic person.

1. Reframe your narrative

Looking back on a miserable or abusive childhood puts you in the position of a helpless victim. It can make you feel unloved and unwanted. This feeling drags you into a cycle of mental self-abuse. However, by placing yourself in your own memory, you can empower yourself.

Instead of feeling helpless, think back to the time when you were a child, then consider how you pushed yourself out of that situation to become the person you are today. The child in your memory ceases to be a victim and becomes a powerful symbol of just how far you’ve come. As Dr. Harold Bloomfield, psychiatrist and author, says ‘you can find value in past adversity, you can neutralize its harmful effects and foster healing.’

2. Reject shame and blame

Shame is a spiral that can be the most difficult of all to recover from. It affects you like no other emotion because it attacks who you are as a human being. Bloomfield describes it as the ‘cancer of the spirit’ as it gives you the feeling that you are undeserving of joy or love.

The shame that exists as a result of a bad childhood leads you to assume that your parents (or guardians) treated you poorly because of who you are, rather than through a fault in them. To counteract the feeling accept that the fault does not lie at your feet.

When you shift the shame from yourself, do not transfer the feelings into blame. Accept the mistakes of your parents. Blame can poison your mind and make you focus on anger, in the same way that shame poisons your spirit. Allowing blame to take over is giving yourself a get out of jail free card because the mistakes you make can be attributed to someone else. Remember that now you’re an adult you’re the master of your destiny!

3. Don’t dwell on regret

One pitfall of letting go of shame and blame is allowing regret to take up a predominant place in our minds. It leaves us thinking what if or if only, neither of which address how to improve your life moving forwards.

Move your thoughts onto the lessons that you learned. Think once more of the version of yourself as a child, think of every lesson you learned from every negative experienced he or she encountered.

Regret will then cease to be negative; it will transform into an understanding of where you have been and how to get where you`re going.

4. Express your emotions

Much of the negative things we think and feel are as a result of deep wounds that we have harbored from childhood. Now that you’re older it is time to address those emotions. Whether you do that by talking them through with friends, seek a psychiatrist, write them down, sing or even paint is unimportant, just make sure you release them.

On days when the weight of the past weighs heavily on your shoulders, try shouting as loud as you can in a wide open space or a room on your own. Visualize the pain as you do it and just allow yourself to feel it before expelling it from your heart and mind.

Katherine Mayfield, an award winning psychiatrist and author, believes that any emotion release benefits her move on from her emotionally abusive childhood.

‘The more you can release your pent-up feelings, the more of the past you’ll clear away.  Go to a sad movie and cry buckets, or whack a bed with a plastic bat—whatever works for you. Releasing emotions releases energy, which you can then use to create a more authentic life.’

5 Reasons Why Talking To Yourself Is Good For Your Brain

5 Reasons Why Talking To Yourself Is Good For Your Brain2

It’s a fact that most of us daydream when they are alone. However, there are some people who daydream loudly; in other words, they talk to themselves.

Even if you’re not one of them, it’s highly possible that you’ve met people who do talk to themselves.

You may have heard them reminding to themselves what they should buy from the grocery store for example. You may also have thought that these people are somewhat crazy. This article explains why people who talk to themselves aren’t crazy at all; on the contrary, what they do is helpful for their brain.

So, talking to yourself helps you in these five ways:

1) Putting your thoughts in order

When you have to care about many different things at the same time, it’s probable that your brain will explode! Talking to yourself can help you organize your thoughts, so that you remember what you’ve got to do. This also helps you balance your needs and put your thoughts in the right order, so that you’re able to focus on what you should think about firstly.

 

2) Remembering things

As mentioned before, talking to yourself can help you remember what you want to do, especially if you repeat it several times. This happens because not only you think about what you need to do, but you actually can hear it. Hearing is really good for your memory. So, if you need to remember something when you return home from work, then try saying it out loud repeatedly. The more you hear it the more you’ll remember it later.

3) Thinking more clearly

According to Tandfonline.com, talking to yourself can make the way you think more quick and efficient. For instance, if you are searching for an object in your house, it’s easier for you to find it if you say its name out loud.

 

4) Getting to know yourself

Talking out loud can also improve your self-awareness. That happens because you name some thoughts that were hidden in your head. If you are confused about something, try talking about it out loud; it will help you understand more and more about how you really feel.

 

5) Reaching your goals

You might think that you really know your goals and how to achieve them. The hardest thing about picking a goal is that once you pick it, you will have to commit yourself to doing it. This scares many people because once they commit, they have to stop talking about their goals and start working towards them. The truth is that you need to say your goals out loud everyday, so that you don’t lose your way by forgetting who you are and what you want. Speak them out loud many times daily and your picture of achieving these goals will become clearer to you.


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What It Is Like To Love A Girl Who Is Used To Being On Her Own

A girl who is used to being on her own will be unlike any other girl who you will ever love. That much is guaranteed. She’ll be the toughest nut to crack and her walls will be built up the highest.

Because for so long they were just that: her walls.

They’re a part of world that she built entirely on her own, and while yes they are in one part protection, they’re also just as much a source of her identity. They’re the encompassing shell of a place she made, a life she built, a world that belongs to nobody but her. And while it protects her, maintains her, and keeps her safe, it’s also simply, just what she knows.

So finding space for someone else is going to be hard for her, it’s going to be a challenge.

A girl who is used to being on her own will probably say (at one point or another) that she “doesn’t need you.” She’ll spout variations of “I can do it myself”s and “Don’t worry about it”s and “I’ve got this shit handle”s so often that she’ll begin to sound like a one-woman, independent broken record.

And to a certain extent, it’s all true. She probably can do it herself, you don’t need to worry about it, and she’s got this shit handled.

But just because she can do it herself, just because realistically she probably doesn’t need you, doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you.

Just because she’s got this, doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you watching her handle it.

Just because she can walk the road alone, doesn’t mean she wouldn’t enjoy your company.

See, the truth about being on your own is that after a while, being on your own becomes your comfort, becomes your safe space. There’s a reliability in answering to only yourself, to only minding yourself, to only worrying about yourself. And though at times it can be lonely, it’s a softer lonely. It’s a loneliness that eventually becomes familiar and almost beautiful.

So when someone else comes in, and shakes up that world and that loneliness, it’s jarring.

It’s a shake up not only to her world, but to her routine, but to what she knows.

And so, for a while, there’s going to be some adjustment. There’s going to be some ebb and flow, some give and take. There’s going to be some fear on her end. Not only because she’ll be tentative to let you into her world, to let you scale those walls, to invite you into a life that previously only hers.

But there will also be the fear that if she does let you in, does trust you, that she’ll stop being comfortable on her own, and start to only be comfortable with you.

And the intrinsic fear of getting comfortable with another person is,

“What do I do if they leave?”

When you love a girl who is used to being on her own, you’re loving a girl who is scared by the possibility of ever having to relearn how to do that. You’re saying, “Please let me in,” while she’s saying, “Please don’t go.”

There’s an ease to being on your own once you get used to it, but the getting used to it part is often times an uphill battle, an incredibly difficult journey, and she really dreads the possibility of having to do it again.

So when you love a girl who has been used to being on her own, please be prepared to stay. Be ready to hold her hand when she says, “I can do it,” and respond with, “But I can help.” Be ready to learn about her life, her world, and find a way to respect it while still being a part of it.

Be ready to scale the walls she’s built around herself, and her heart, and be ready to never worry about what’s going on outside of them.

Because when you do, when you really do, she’ll be ready to never let you go.

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A letter to Empaths – When you feel completely drained, Remember this

As an empath I am all too familiar of how it feels to get lost. To only feel like a glimmer of the person you know you are. I am all too familiar of how easy it is to end up in a relationship where you don’t have a voice, to believe since you have the best intentions that others do as well. To be up a murky creek, with no paddle in sight.  Let my words be your paddle.

As empaths we have the unique ability to get stuck in depression caused by unruly environments. The reason this is, is because as empaths we are able to internalize other people’s feelings as if they were our own.

We literally feel what makes our loved ones happy, and even worse we feel what makes them angry and upset.

These feelings become so overwhelming that without us realizing it we start giving EVERYTHING to not get them upset or angry, even the slightest annoyance they feel, we feel too.

While we can romanticize this phenomenon, what is actually happening is the empath is fading away into oblivion. The feelings and emotions that we feel become insignificant, and we really start believing that our own feelings don’t matter at all.

This is where the depression kicks in, it’s because deep deep down within the depths of our souls we are fighting to be free.

Some people might say, what kind of person would make someone feel that way.  The truth of the matter is (most of) our loved ones are not inherently bad.  It usually happens without them even knowing it.  It might start with us insisting that they pick the restaurants and the entertainment, because “we just want to make them happy”.

Little seemingly inconsequential gestures set the precedent of how you are allowed to be treated. In other words you are setting the precedent that they are more important than you, and therefore why would they respect you.

We get so completely enthralled by these situations and living for our loved ones that no matter how depressed we are,  leaving never seems like an option. We would literally rather die than break the heart of someone we love.  This is also why so many empaths are suicidal.

This phenomenon does not strictly occur in romantic relationships.  This could easily happen in a friendship, without us even being aware of it.  Friends might constantly ask us for advice, but not stick around to hear our problems. We have set the precedence that our problems are less important, that WE are less important.

The same things happen in parent child relationships. As empath children we feel extreme pressure to not disappoint our parents, because we internalize the disappointment, and therefore we become disappointed in our selves.

On the other end of the coin, as empath parents we give our all to make sure our children are happy, taken care of, and make sure our children know that it is impossible for us to ever be disappointed in them.

We make the best possible parents because we raise kids who have more confidence and are comfortable in their own skin.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, like you have given all your energy out to others and need to recharge yourself, always remember:

1.) You deserve happiness; take time for yourself
2.) Your feelings are no less important than anyone else’s
3.) We are all connected – when you hurt yourself you are hurting others

By: Hillary Gerstler


Source – Spirit Science

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10 Signs it’s Time to Let Go

Holding on is being brave, but letting go and moving on is often what makes us stronger and happier.

Here are ten signs it’s time to let go:

1. Someone expects you to be someone you’re not. –

Don’t change who you are for anyone else.  It’s wiser to lose someone over being who you are, than to keep them by being someone you’re not.  Because it’s easier to mend a broken heart, than it is to piece together a shattered identity.  It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space inside yourself where YOU used to be.

 

2. A person’s actions don’t match their words. –

Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow.  If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent and their actions don’t match up with their words, it’s time to let them go.  It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company.  True friendship is a promise made in the heart – silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time.  Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do.  Your true friends will slowly reveal themselves over time.

 

3. You catch yourself forcing someone to love you. –

Let us keep in mind that we can’t force anyone to love us.  We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave.  That’s what love is all about – freedom.  However, the end of love is not the end of life.  It should be the beginning of an understanding that love sometimes leaves for a reason, but never leaves without a lesson.  If someone truly loves you, they will never give you a reason to doubt it.  Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you, but it takes someone really special to stay in your life and prove how much they love you.  Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right person, but the right person is always worth the wait. 

 

4. An intimate relationship is based strictly on physical attraction. –

Being beautiful is more than how many people you can get to look at you, or how others perceive you at a single glance.  It’s about what you live for.  It’s about what defines you.  It’s about the depth of your heart, and what makes you unique.  It’s about being who you are and living out your life honestly.  It’s about those little quirks that make you, you.  People who are only attracted to you because of your pretty face or nice body won’t stay by your side forever.  But the people who can see how beautiful your heart is will never leave you.

 

5. Someone continuously breaks your trust. –

Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to.  When you completely trust a person, without any doubt, you’ll automatically get one of two results – a FRIEND for life or a LESSON for life.  Either way there’s a positive outcome.  Either you confirm the fact that this person cares about you, or you get the opportunity to weed them out of your life and make room for those who do.  In the end you’ll discover who’s fake, who’s true, and who would risk it all for you.  And trust me, some people will totally surprise you.

12 Toxic Behaviors that Push People Away From You

Your behavior is a little thing that makes a big difference.

Whether your toxic behavior is a common occurrence, or just a once in a blue moon phenomena, it’s critical for your long-term happiness and success that you are able to recognize when you’re behaving negatively, and consciously shift your mindset when necessary.

The twelve most common toxic behaviors we see are:

1. Being envious of everyone else. –

Don’t let envy (or jealously) get the best of you.  Envy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  There is nothing attractive or admirable about this behavior.  So stop comparing your journey with everyone else’s.  Your journey is YOUR journey, NOT a competition.  You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself.  You are competing to be the best you can be.  If you want to measure your progress, compare yourself to who you were yesterday.

 

2. Taking everything too personally. –

People are toxic to be around when they believe that everything happening around them is a direct assault on them or is in some way all about them.  The truth is that what people say and do to you is much more about them, than you.  People’s reactions to you are about their perspectives, wounds and experiences.  Whether people think you’re amazing, or believe you’re the worst, again, is more about them.  I’m not suggesting we should be narcissists and ignore all feedback.  I am saying that so much hurt, disappointment and sadness in our lives comes from our taking things personally.  In most cases it’s far more productive and healthy to let go of other people’s good or bad opinion of you, and to operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.

 

Acting like you’re always a victim.

Another toxic behavior is persistent complaining that fuels your sense of victimization.  Believing you’re a victim, that you have no power to exert and no power over the direction of your life, is a toxic stance that keeps you stuck.  Working as a life coach with people who have suffered major trauma in their lives but found the courage to turn it all around, I know we all have access to far more power, authority, and influence over our lives than we initially believe.  When you stop complaining, and refuse to see yourself as a helpless victim, you’ll find that you are more powerful than you realized, but only if you choose to accept this reality.

 

Hoarding pain and loss.

One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go – whether it’s guilt, anger, love or loss.  Change is never easy – you fight to hold on and you fight to let go.  But oftentimes letting go is the healthiest path forward.  It clears out toxic thoughts from the past.  You’ve got to emotionally free yourself from the things that once meant a lot to you, so you can move beyond the past and the pain it brings you.  Again, it takes hard work to let go and refocus your thoughts, but it’s worth every bit of effort you can muster.

 

Obsessive negative thinking.

It’s very hard to be around people who refuse to let go of negativity – when they ruminate and speak incessantly about the terrible things that could happen and have happened, the scorns they’ve suffered, and the unfairness of life.  These people stubbornly refuse to see the positive side of life and the positive lessons from what’s happening.  Pessimism is one thing – but remaining perpetually locked in a negative mindset is another.  Only seeing the negative, and operating from a view that everything is negative and against you, is a twisted way of thinking and living, and you can change that.

 

Lack of emotional self-control.

An inability to manage your emotions is toxic to everyone around you.  We all know these people – those who explode in anger and tears over the smallest hiccup or problem.  Yelling at the grocery store clerk for the long line, screaming at an employee for a small error she made, or losing it with your daughter for spilling juice on the floor.  If you find that you’re overly emotional, losing your cool at every turn, you may need some outside assistance to help you gain control over your emotions and understand what’s at the root of your inner angst.  There’s more to it than what appears on the surface.  An independent perspective – and a new kind of support – can work wonders.