Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT

Darlene Lancer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and an expert author on relationships and codependency. She's counseled individuals and couples for 30 years and coaches internationally. Her books and other online booksellers and her website

Deprogramming Codependent Brainwashing

Codependency is based on false, dysfunctional beliefs that are learned from our parents and environment. Recovery entails changing those beliefs, the most damaging of which is that we’re not worthy of love and respect

12 Signs You Have A Toxic Parent and How To Deal With It

When we grow up with dysfunctional parenting, we may not recognize it as such. It feels familiar and normal. We may be in denial and not realize that we’ve been abused emotionally, particularly if our material needs were met.

Can a Narcissist Love?

Anyone who’s loved a narcissist wonder, “Does he really love me?” “Does she appreciate me?” They’re torn between their love and their pain, between staying and leaving, but can't seem to do either.

How To Handle Narcissistic Abuse

The most important thing to remember about intentional abuse is that it’s designed to dominate you. Abusers’ goals are to increase their control and authority while creating doubt, shame, and dependency in their victims.

The Trauma of Children Of Addicts and Alcoholics

Living with an addict (including alcoholics[1]) can feel like life in a war zone. The addict’s personality changes caused by addiction create chaos.

Relationship Killers: Anger and Resentment

When we react disproportionately to our present circumstance, it’s because we’re really reacting to something in our past event – often from childhood.

Confronting Narcissistic Abuse

Allowing abuse damages your self-esteem.  Thus, it’s important to confront it. That doesn’t mean to fight and argue. It means standing your ground and speaking up for yourself

The Power Of Self-Talk

Are you aware that you talk to yourself all the time? We all do. Our self-talk makes a huge difference in our lives for better or for worse. The question to ask yourself is whether your inner voice is your friend or foe.

Steps To Be Empowered And Not A Victim

There’s a saying in Al-Anon Family Groups: “There are no victims, only volunteers” – meaning that when you tolerate unacceptable behavior, you volunteer for it.

10 Habits That Cause Low Self Esteem And Depression

When our self-esteem is low, which is typical of codependency, we’re at greater risk for depression.