Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT

Darlene Lancer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and an expert author on relationships and codependency. She's counseled individuals and couples for 30 years and coaches internationally. Her books and other online booksellers and her website

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter syndrome i.e. feeling like a fraud due to the self-doubt and lack of confidence which stems from low self-esteem that makes us afraid of being discovered and judged inadequate or incompetent.

Breaking The Cycle Of Abandonment

If you’re discontented in a relationship or go from one to another or even remain unhappily alone, you may be caught in a worsening cycle of abandonment.

Valentine’s Day Traps – 6 Tips to Avoid Them

Valentine’s Day is fraught with landmines and expectations, often unrealized, and whether you’re in or out of a relationship, the grass isn’t always greener. Is your situation described here?

How To Spot Manipulation

Manipulation may seem benign or even friendly or flattering as if the person has your highest concern in mind, but in reality, it’s to achieve an ulterior motive.

Dysthymia – Symptoms, Causes and Treatment

Dysthymia or chronic depression is a common symptom of codependency; however, many codependents aren’t aware that they’re depressed.

Signs a Narcissist is Playing Mind Games With You

Narcissists see relationships as a means to get what they want, without concern for the feelings of the other person.

How To Change Your Attachment Style

We seek or avoid intimacy along a continuum, but one of the three styles is generally predominant in us whether we’re dating or in a long term marriage:

Can You Love Too Much? Codependent “Caretakers”

Codependents have a habit of ignoring their needs and constantly putting others first, they often confuse love with being someone's caretaker.

Codependency Addiction: Stages of Disease and Recovery

Codependency has been referred to as “relationship addiction” or “love addiction.” The focus on others helps to alleviate our pain and inner emptiness, but in ignoring ourselves, it only grows.

Ways How Self-Esteem Makes Or Breaks Relationships

Self-esteem not only affects how we think about ourselves but also how much love we're able to receive and how we treat others, especially in intimate relationships.

Toxic Shame: How Internalized Shame Alters Our Self-Image

Unlike ordinary shame, “internalized shame” hangs around and alters our self-image. When shame becomes toxic, it can ruin our lives.