Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT

Darlene Lancer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and an expert author on relationships and codependency. She's counseled individuals and couples for 30 years and coaches internationally. Her books and other online booksellers and her website

Changing Codependent Dynamics in Abusive Relationships

Codependents’ reactive role amplifies their focus on their partner, while they hide who they are. They increasingly try to control the uncontrollable, sacrifice themselves, and try harder to please and be accepted.

Detaching: How To Let Go with Love

Detaching is a way of separating the unhealthy emotional glue that keeps us fused in a codependent relationship.

7 Ways to Cultivate Love in Your Life and Become Happier

Most of us seek someone to love or to love us. We don’t think about cultivating self-love or realize that love originates within.

Your Partner Can Control Your Brain, Science Explains

Did you know, your partner can control your brain? A new study sheds light on how other people influence our minds.

Sibling Bullying and Abuse: Signs and Effects

Sibling abuse is the most common but least reported abuse in the family. Prevalence is higher than spousal or child abuse combined with consequences well into adulthood similar parent-child abuse.

Sons Of Narcissistic Mothers and The Damage They Suffer

Sons of narcissistic mothers don’t feel loved for who they are, but only for what they can do for their parent’s approval.

The Pros and Cons Of A Gray Rock Strategy

One strategy for dealing with a narcissist or sociopath is to act like a “gray rock”, meaning that you become uninteresting and unresponsive.

8 Ways We Sabotage Love

Fear of not being loved is the greatest reason we don’t find love and sabotage it in our relationships.

What Is Toxic Shame and How it Differs From Ordinary Shame

Toxic Shame creates false beliefs about ourselves others can’t refute and silently eats away at our spontaneity and confidence

What Is Healthy Narcissism? How Does it Differ from Self Love

Is self-love narcissistic? Is some narcissism healthy? Find out what when and how narcissism can be helpful and what makes it toxic

7 Reasons Why People End Up Loving An Abuser

It can feel humiliating to stay in an abusive relationship. Those who don’t understand ask why we love someone abusive. We don’t have good answers. But there are valid reasons.