Why We Get Attracted To People Who Are Different From Us


This movement away from viewing our partner as adversary to viewing him as an ally with whom we share the same intention, is the fundamental shift in the process of transforming our relationship from one characterized by struggle, to one grounded in gratitude and love.

Despite our best efforts and strongest desires, decades-long patterns don’t change overnight, but the process begins as soon as we get clear that the time and effort that it’s going to take is worth it. If you’re in doubt, trust me, it is!


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Written by Linda and Charlie Bloom

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Linda Bloom, LCSW and Charlie Bloom, MSW have been trained as psychotherapists and relationship counselors and have worked with individuals, couples, groups, and organizations since 1975. They have lectured and taught at universities and learning institutes throughout the USA, including the Esalen Institute, the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, 1440 Multiversity, and many others.  They have taught seminars in many countries throughout the world. They have co-authored four books, 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last, Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truth From Real Couples About Lasting Love, Happily Ever After And 39 Other Myths About Love, and That Which Doesn't Kill Us: How One Couple Became Stronger at the Broken Places. They have been married since 1972 and are the parents of two adult children and three grandsons. Linda and Charlie live in Santa Cruz, California. Their website is www.bloomwork.com