Arrow and Loon

 April 05, 2019

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45.4021° N, 75.6873° W

Here you will find a little pub called the Arrow and Loon,

Enter a much younger and unsure me,

Materialism to supplement for my insecurities that I tried to buy into securities

Shoes white, name brand whore

Haven’t found my swag, because I think it is found at the department store,

Or at the bottom of the bottle , always leaving me wanting so much more.

,

Maybe this will fill the feeling of knowing there must be more

Sex is frivolous and unfulfilling, fake, and frustrating

Questions of my value plague me to the core,

When will that someone special see me more,

There has to be something more

More real,

More value

More passionate

 

Always so popular with so many,

Surface deep and yet so lonely every layer deeper I get.

Always a deeper desire

My soul isn’t ready

If I could sell my soul…

Would I sell it for fame, popularity, love or riches?

Or trade all that for

Dreams of love and family, children and a future,

an

eternal,

undeniable,

unimaginable,

real connection that knocks me off my feet

falling off a branch from the tallest tree in the forest because I never stopped climbing

looking for one second of love that I deserve

My confidence

Broken, then built backup

Love faith

Shaken but never lost

I may not see how much of life challenges overcome

Battles fought with love and positivity, leaving negative behind

Growth slower than expected, but never settling for less

My energy, my heart, my empathy and love

With every relationship, interaction and person we meet…

From the bad, evil, ugly and mean,

To the beautiful, bright, loving and amazing…

I wasn’t ready to meet you then…

I didn’t know I was ready to meet you when I did…

But I knew you when I saw you.

Its as if I was looking for you all this time.

I wasn’t ready then.

Our souls needed to hurt, love and mend..

Stars needed to align..

Fate and luck..

Karma and blessings

Pluto and mars

Gravitational pull of the planets in perfection I could never imagine

All to a pivotal point where my life changed

At a little bar in Ottawa at the corner of 2 numbered streets

I asked you to have a drink with me and

you smiled and agreed.

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