Are You Willing To Be Awake In Your Relationship?

are you willing awake your relationship

But if you and/or your partner are constantly biting your tongue and letting your quiet resentments build, your connection won’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of surviving long term.

If something gathers enough steam in your mind that it starts to create a small divide between you and your partner, then it is worth talking about. And talking about it fully, honestly, and with your heart open.

3. Put in a genuine and consistent effort.

“It ain’t a thing. Love is a verb.” – John Mayer

An intimate relationship is like a garden that you and your partner water, landscape, and put energy into.

If you both consistently put energy into your garden, then it will grow beautiful flowers that you can admire and fruits and vegetables that you can receive sustenance from.

But if you both take energy from the garden without ever adding to it, then eventually the garden will become depleted and barren.

“It just wasn’t the right garden for me. I want a garden that doesn’t need any watering and that I can marvel at and pull energy from all day, every day”, says the perpetual victim… continuing the search out there for a garden that requires no maintenance or effort.

An intimate relationship (like a well-maintained garden) throws off many gifts. It can give you nourishment in the most challenging phases of your life. But it requires energy from you.

In any partnership, there are three entities: you, me, and the relationship.

In a co-dependent bond, the people involved see only the relationship.

In a partnership of intimacy averse avoidants, it’s hard for them to see anything but ‘you and me.’

But a true, healthy partnership contains all three elements at all times.

You know where you end. You know where they begin. And you are both aware of, and actively tending to, the garden that you both invest energy into.

This is the same with all major elements of life. Your health requires constant effort. So does your business/your career. So do your friendships. So does raising children.

Anything worth having in life is worth fighting for and worth investing energy into.

Even if all you do to incorporate this point is, once per quarter, you explicitly ask your partner, “What can I do to love you better?”, and then truly listen (and act on what they tell you), you will already be leagues ahead of 99% of people.

Related: 6 Ways To Increase Emotional Intimacy In Your Significant Relationships.

So that’s it (for this article)…

– Be willing to verbalize your specific needs.

– Be willing to tell the full truth, even when it’s difficult to do so.

– Put in a genuine and consistent effort.

Do those three things with the most honest effort and consistency you can muster, and you should be just fine.

Dedicated to your success,


Written by Jordan Gray
Originally appeared on
Are You Willing To Be Awake In Your Relationship
Are You Willing To Be Awake In Your Relationship?
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Are You Willing To Be Awake In Your Relationship?
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Jordan Gray

Sex and relationship coach Jordan Gray helps people remove their emotional blocks and maintain thriving intimate relationships. You can see more of his writing at JordanGrayConsulting.comView Author posts