Eventually, your happiness and self-esteem doesn’t depend on others. You gain the capacity for both autonomy and intimacy. You experience your own power and self-love. You feel expansive and creative, with the ability to generate and pursue your own goals.
Codependency doesn’t automatically disappear if you leave a codependent relationship. After losing yourself in your relationship recovery requires ongoing maintenance. After a while, changes in thinking and behaviour become natural, and the tools and skills learned become new healthy habits. Perfectionism is a symptom of codependency. There is no such thing as perfect recovery. Recurring symptoms merely present ongoing learning opportunities!
©Darlene Lancer 2018
Written by Darlene Lancer JD, MFT
Republished with permission.