Stop making excuses for your partner’s abuse of you, and the relationship. Rip off those rose-colored glasses, and throw them away for good. They only end up blinding you to the red flags in life.
Who would be foolish enough to wear them once they realize that? People who have little self-esteem and even less self-confidence. If you are recognizing a pattern you may be trapped in here, know that you can escape.
You are the only person who can keep you emotionally safe!
Being with someone who needs to have power over you, to keep you uncertain and in fear, is the first thing to recognize. That’s why I wrote the free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal™ at Hijackals.com. I created the term, Hijackal, to describe a person who hijacks a relationship for his or her own purposes and then relentlessly scavenges it for power, status, and control.
Does that sound—or more importantly, feel–familiar? You’ll quickly see the traits, patterns, and cycles when you read the ebook. Power is the air that Hijackals breathe. They need it, crave and demand it. When you’re with a Hijackal, you are being suffocated so that the Hijackal can take control.
Stop! You are emotionally unsafe with a Hijackal. And, it won’t change.
Hijackals don’t change. I know that’s hard to believe because you have been telling yourself that with enough love, patience, and all that from you, the Hijackal will finally believe she or he is loved enough, and relax. No, it won’t happen. Believe me.
Yes, I know you don’t want to. You want to believe the Hijackal, and believe in the Hijackal. Don’t! A Hijackal only has interest in what feeds the need for power and control.
I know it sounds harsh, but truly a Hijackal could care less about you, as long as she or he is getting what is needed for themselves. Hijackals don’t have love to give you. They have used for you. The harsh truth. Believe it now, or believe it later, but it’s still the truth.
You have the right to be emotionally safe. You have the responsibility to keep yourself emotionally safe.
Are you willing to rip off those rose-colored glasses and see how it is, at last? Great. That’s a big vote in favor of yourself, and you deserve to be safe. Believe that!
Emotional safety means feeling accepted. It is the sense that you are safe from emotional attack or harm. A Hijackal will never allow you to feel accepted, acceptable, or good enough.
If all this sounds horribly familiar, that’s the first important step to recovery. The next is to get help to recognize the patterns, traits, and cycles. Then, to gather the new attitudes, mindsets, and strategies to step into your own power, and say no to abuse.
You have the right to be emotionally safe. Exercise your rights!
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Written by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Originally appeared on Forrelationship.com