Hide the fact it took me 30 minutes to make a decision weighing out every pro and con. Hide the fact it takes me two hours to get ready because in my head everything looks awful on me and anxiety tells me so. Hide the fact I have minor panic attacks if I’m late to something or if I’ve overslept. And how something so little can change a day that’s hasn’t even begun yet.
I’ll hide the fact I’m exhausted because I didn’t sleep last night thinking about something that may never happen.
And as you get to know me, you’ll begin to see how much anxiety plays a major role in my life.
And when you realize the truth, you’ll realize what I’ve had to live with most of my life. I’ll apologize for being this type of person.
I’ll apologize if it’s something you can’t second-hand deal with because there are times I can’t deal with it myself.
But at the same time, I can’t change it.
At the same time, I know I’m always going to live with this thing that dictates a lot of my life.
So I’ll always say sorry.
I’ll be sorry for the things I do and the things I don’t. But through your acceptance and understanding of something I’m still struggling to understand myself, comes a love for you and all you are.
Only lately I’ve begun to realize, you don’t have to love everything about yourself before someone else does. Sometimes it takes someone loving those bits of yourself you reject, sometimes it takes hearing someone say it’s okay to be like this. It’s only then you begin to accept yourself for all you are but more than you realize, you don’t have to be sorry.
Written By Kirsten Corley
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