Do you see how renouncing anger is crucial if you want to make any progress? Unless you truly say NO to anger and reject it you will keep validating it. But if what you truly want is peace of mind and stability then that desire will prevail and anger will have nowhere to grip you from.
Now, it’s understandable if this change is not immediate, it takes time and practice. But to help you take the first steps here is an affirmation that will keep you on track.
Whenever you feel like anger is trying to get to you, say:
“I release this anger, I choose not to take it. I choose to be a strong and stable person instead.”
Let’s make it clear: Anger cannot take place unless you decide you want it. Become responsible of your response to the situations in your life.
Whatever happens, keep in mind that your main goal is to drop the anger and stop validating it. Accept things with a shrug of shoulders and say to yourself: “Hey, whatever, that anger is something I won’t hold on to”
This is more than anger management, it is banishing anger from your life.
This doesn’t mean you should allow bad things to happen to you or others, but instead, you are just taking away the anger element, which just harms and blinds you. Act depending on your situation but leave anger to dissolve on its own. Anger needs someone to exist, if you reject it then it will be like there is no one there to “accept the package”.
If the waiter is not paying attention just assertively make sure he does. If someone cuts you off stay away from someone who doesn’t know how to drive (or probably is having an emergency). If someone is disrespectful to you, state it, and change the situation. If your S.O. doesn’t understand you, take the time to explain.
You see how anger is not needed for anything to work as it should? Action is necessary, not the emotion and our unhealthy release.
Until you break the bond you will observe that first, by rejecting anger, the influence it has over you will be greatly diminished. This is why I decided to revamp anger management so that you see results in your life fast.
Now, it will be normal if you still feel enraged and it is necessary to release that anger in a healthy form. Resolve to do no harm and to release only in ways that do not affect you or others.
You won’t have to feel like this forever, only until you break the attachment to anger.
Dare to go against your ego, because your ego is what provides validation to anger. If you dare to challenge the reasons it gives you and accept the things that contradict you with a detached attitude you will be taking great steps towards your happiness.
What is it that you care for most? Your health, happiness, and growth? Or your reason to be angry? The choice is yours, make no mistake. Be responsible. Whenever you get mad is because you want it that way.
With time you will stop being reactive and you will be able to solve situations instead of resorting to anger. As I mentioned above you will clearly see how this dependence on anger is like an addiction. Check out this meditation to learn the mechanics of thought and your mind.
Quite often we just wait for the slightest provocation to resort to anger. Anything that we can adapt to a reason for us to be mad (validation of anger) is used as justification to feel and behave enraged.
When anger or rage is allowed to drive our behavior we can have some pretty nasty consequences. People who don’t know how to deal with anger become aggressive or even violent and this has serious consequences both for the individual and the ones around them.
This is why Emotional Education (and specifically anger management in this case) is absolutely essential to life in the 21st century. Good news, by reading this you just started!
When we act driven by rage or anger we are literally acting under the influence of it. Just as it would happen with DUIs this means that we are not exactly ourselves and that we surrender a little bit of control over ourselves to anger.
The road to being free from anger is easier than you think, you just need to follow through. If you use the affirmation given above and start being responsible for your response, you will be free from the unhealthy attachment to anger in very little time.
If you believe this will be helpful to others or if it helps you, don’t forget to share and like. Thanks for reading!
Written By George Alonso Originally Appeared In George Alonso