Instead, you turned into my worst nightmare.
Have you ever felt like you were invisible? Like you didn’t matter and were worthless? like you weren’t good enough for anyone? Moreover, have you ever felt taken for granted? Maybe not, because that’s the way you used to make me feel, to the point where I would question my own self-worth.
For the longest time, you made me believe you actually cared about me. As much as I believed that I was someone you would be making some effort for, but your spending time with friends on the date of my birthday says a completely different thing. But of course, it was never your fault and I was too sensitive, as you precisely put in. Maybe I was at fault when I spent many late nights thinking about what was and what could have been.
It is really surprising that at one point in my life, I was dream-oriented, driven by goals, and full of life. Now all I feel is that I live only to obtain the needs of you. At one point, you seemed to care about me, but now my life is caring for you. It took me some time to realize that your mind transitioned itself from “having a partner” into “having a thing,” and your unwillingness to spend a lot of time together or pay sincere attention to me anymore.
I learned to accept the truth that you wouldn’t change and it’s made me stronger. Understanding this gives me the immense strength to see how thanks to my suffering I have tested my love and resilience. Using the half part of the energy required to maintain a one-sided relationship I can build an entirely new life for me, happier with myself and with others, in a life with no room for a relationship where I am taken for granted.
I was at fault when you stopped including me in your plans, or when my opinions didn’t matter. Maybe your time was much more important than mine as communicating even basic things disappeared from our relationship. But you know these ‘faults’ of mine helped me to join the broken pieces together. It might sound crazy to you but I thank you for the new ‘me’.
By now I feel more assertive and you own my reality. You taught me how other people can make you doubt how you perceive reality and takes you for granted, I won’t fall for it again. I can truly see, dream, and plan for the future I want to have which doesn’t include completing your dream, and I can continue to move in that direction.
You will soon see those old emotions almost don’t exist anymore. It is a lot easier and faster to get through things and get myself out of unpleasant emotional times without being weighed down by the past.
When you don’t give your power to others who try to rattle you by evoking a negative emotion, you won’t let what they said or did eat at you after. I realized what is taking place and I was able to redirect my emotional power to the way I would like to feel, rather than the way you wanted me to feel to meet your demands.
Thank you for making me stronger than before, I will be able to stand clear and firm with my boundaries. I will be focusing on getter better clarity all around me, my sense of purpose, and then live that purpose.
One day you’ll look back and you’ll finally see me and the things I did for you. Just a piece of advice for you, It’s hard to find people who will pick you up when you’re down, or support you through it all. The good and the bad. When you find them through time. cherish them and treat them as such. Time is good to you…when you are good to others.
You’ll realize that the whole time you were pushing that girl away who you should have been fighting for. Now you’ve lost the girl that loved you unconditionally.
The girl whom you lost forever.