23. You have unstable moods. Due to your extreme and unpredictable mood swings, most people avoid you. People feel like walking on eggshells around you as they don’t know what might trigger a volatile mood in you.
You ask yourself “Am I toxic?” You tend to be self-aware of your toxic behaviors and how they affect others mentally and emotionally. You also realize how all the toxicity affects your life and relationships negatively.
Are a you toxic person?
Can you identify with all or most of these signs? Have you found the answer to your question: “Am I toxic?”
If yes, then it can be a heartbreaking realization. However, the fact that you are now aware of your toxic behavior is the very first step towards recovery. “The good news is that, the sooner you take ownership of your role in your unhappiness, the sooner you can kick toxic behaviors to the curb,” writes psychology professor Jeanne Croteau.
Most of the time, toxic behaviors stem from past traumatic experiences or unhealthy attachment patterns. Although these do not justify your toxic behavior, it can help you understand the root causes and help you start the healing process. Erica Bonham, LPC explains “We tend to become overpowering and toxic because we were once overpowered and mistreated.”
Awareness is the first step towards healing. But the second step is owning up to your past behaviors and actions. Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit, writes “Own what you have done, even if you feel like the worst person ever. Taking ownership of our actions is one of the keys to making long-lasting changes.”
Once you’ve become self-aware and taken responsibility for your past behavior, you need to seek and get professional help. Therapy can help you fully understand the deeper mental and emotional issues you are dealing with and show you ways to overcome it. “A skilled therapist will be able to help you find the injury and make changes in these behaviors,” adds Erica.
Although you may be naturally attracted towards negativity, with self-help tools, practice, effort, support from loved ones, and professional help you can become a more optimistic and compassionate person. Yes, it will take a lot of time and effort, but if you are determined, you can stop being toxic and have healthy relationships and happy life.