Nine months into my sobriety, my dad had a stroke. I was over 1,500 miles away from home and felt dire guilt that I wasn’t able to be there to be with him in the hospital. I was told that they may have to do open heart surgery. Fear set in. I hadn’t seen my dad since I had gotten sober and I was terrified that I may never be able to see him again if the surgery did not go well. I felt shame that there was a possibility that I may never get the opportunity for him to see how much I had changed. The only thing I could do was pray. Despite the fear and lack of control that I experienced, I was forced to trust in God that my dad would be okay.
In the end, the doctors found a medicine that worked well for him so he didn’t have to have the surgery then, but it is still a possibility in the future. If this happens, I know it will hurt, but my faith will be tested once again. Regardless of the outcomes of difficult situations, I must find peace in the trust that I have in God.
A New Life
Today, I have an understanding of the spiritual principles underlying behavior change in people who suffer from substance abuse. Through the acceptance of a loving God in my life I can honestly say that the obsession to drink and drug is something that I no longer suffer from. It has helped me prevent a relapse. Prior to having faith in God, I was consumed with these thoughts. It is nothing short of a miracle that I am sober today and live a peaceful life.
I am blessed with a job where I work with a team of intelligent, supportive individuals to spread awareness around addiction in the hopes that we reach the heart and soul of an individual who is still struggling.
I am blessed with a grateful outlook on life where I am able to see beauty and grace in the worst of times. I get to work one on one with women who are trying to stay sober by showing them exactly how I stay sober. In doing this, I get to watch the light come back on in people’s eyes. I get to watch hopeless, distraught women who want to die grow into outstanding individuals who are happy to be alive.
I am blessed to have a God who listens and provides whenever feelings of sadness or doubt return. I am able to see past difficult situations with the trust that the outcome is in the hands of God.
For somebody who was once suicidal and painfully addicted to heroin, the ability to wake up each morning and breath in fresh air is a wonderful thing. In accepting the love of God I am truly, and irrevocably blessed