A Truth About Intimacy, Love And Romance

Truth about Intimacy Love Romance

What is the truth about love, romance, and most importantly intimacy? You might think that you know the real truth about intimacy, and what it stands for, but do you really?

“Robin, what is intimacy?” A friend, who has been more of an advisor, coach and mentor, asked,

I stalled. ‘I know what intimacy is’ I thought to myself, shoulders pulled back, chest out eager to crow like a proud rooster. Then she said it,

“Don’t answer. Don’t look on the internet or ask a girlfriend or check Facebook, just think about it.”

I stalled. Vulnerable, yet eager for the task because she is one of the few people that know how to challenge, inspire and humble me all at the same time under the sacred veil of mutual trust, dignity still well intact.

Physical intimacy I understand from the school’s sex education to Cosmo magazines to the trial-and-error that would constitute my becoming a man, ya I know exactly what physical intimacy is! Yet, after having it, most of it felt empty. It’s in that moment I realized I’m more than just this physical form, and that whatever that “more” is, craves more of itself. It wants to see itself, and experience itself with and through someone else.

My mind then shifts to the word, LOVE. Not real spirit-driven affection and acceptance, but the sticky Hollywood style kinda love that makes us sigh, want for the dysfunctional display of neurotic behavior that later we learn makes us miserable.

Uncertain if it’s the disease of unbridled passion that curbs my superior intentions to the gutters of derailment or just a misguided sense of my own, internal romance that I often don’t know what to do with. Intimacy…true, heart-exposed, vulnerable intimacy has always been hard, perhaps even terrifying. When I question other men, I find that I’m not alone.

Related: Intimacy With Others Starts From Within

But, sadly, I didn’t have other men (or the internet) to consult. I was called out, or better said, called IN to answer the question EVERY woman wants to know from a man:

“What is intimacy?”

In retrospect, I think it should probably be the first thing two perspective lovers/daters ask each other for certainly many problems of hurt feelings would be avoided. But I’m stalling and you know it. Ya, I’m much more comfortable telling you what to do, but this time as in all times of anything regarding greatness…I must go first.

As I explored, seeking this within myself, I found a sacred space of connection, where two people are still individuals but the lines of differentiation blur, and the division of separation evaporates to nothingness.

Truth about intimacy

An overlay of playful humor blankets us, laughing in acknowledgment THIS space is where we always were, just had to consciously come into agreement.

Okay, I’m on to something now. I wanted more of this so I sold everything I owned and hit the open road. For the next month to follow, I toured the country seeking more of this state within myself. Interviews along the road were conducted as I slept under the stars and explored the many landscapes to hear the deepest parts of me and just, reconnect.

My defenses began to ease, all the walls were scaled and in time, dismantled brick-by-brick allowing nudity of soul to be reformatted to a new normal. I was truly seen, as spirit, as physical, like heart and soul and it all became blended into a mixed soup of creative yummy-ness that can be drank to nourishment never felt before.

My language changed. My friends changed and I came into sync with a natural rhythm that just felt at once as though you’re arriving at some sought-after, far-off shore, yet right back into the comfort of your childhood home.

Forgiveness seemed to come naturally and run a gentle course, grace flowed from the belly of my truest self and a constant outdoing of others affections gave a peaceful reminder that YOU are always on the other person’s mind, heart…oh yes, and soul.

I became ridiculously vulnerable in my heart, yet at the same time, strength reverberated through my veins and there was a feeling of tremendous protection. It felt foreign at first, even scary, but I just kept placing myself in positions to have intimate conversations and really connect with others where in time, I changed and new habits were formed.

My love lost its attachment to form and judgment. The opinions I held so dear that were eager for validation, the vanity that robbed my mirror of self-reflection when I looked into my partner’s eyes.

Realness kept me warm, intention kept me safe and I was finally able to step into a circle of sacredness where time stops and a third entity is birthed to coddle and create.

In retrospect, the eighteen inches from the head to the heart is the longest journey any of us will ever make.

Intimacy. It’s more than a word, a state of momentary bliss, orgasmic release or a burden for the attached with licenses of marriage or domestic partnerships.

It, this thing, this described state…is a place of unadulterated purity, where universe partners with us to heal, reunite to oneness and experience bliss.

Related: The Subconscious Tendency That Erodes Intimacy In Every Relationship

Intimacy is the art of allowing defenses to ease, letting the nudity of your soul be reformatted to a new normal – easier normal, a more comfortable normal.

You are truly seen, as spirit, as physical, like heart and soul and it’s all blended into one. Forgiveness runs a lovely and gentle course, grace flows from the belly of our truest self and a constant outdoing of each other’s affections gives a peaceful reminder that you are always on the other person’s mind, heart and soul.

I wonder if I’ll forever struggle with intimacy and what it means to be fully known. Every day I come back to this arena, committed to a state of authenticity in every encounter with others. I look for the smiles, the clues and the subtle head tilts that indicate I’ve been true to myself and made a connection, an imprint to hold.

Intimacy, this state I craved and desired for so long, began with myself.

Um…gosh, don’t make me say … “Happy Valennn..ti..nes Day”. (Gasp) Just go love someone, start with you first.


Written by Robin Austin Reed
Originally appeared on Robin Austin Reed
A Truth about Intimacy Love and Romance
A Truth about Intimacy Love and Romance
a truth about intimacy, love and romance pin

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

What is a Trophy Husband In Today’s Relationship Dynamics?

Signs of a Trophy Husband: Exploring Modern Masculinity

Most of us are aware of the term “trophy wife”. But have you heard about a “trophy husband”? It is a somewhat new term that is a gender-swapped version of the more popular concept of “trophy wife”. 

In today’s evolving society, where gender roles are constantly being redefined, there’s a rising trend of trophy husbands. These men are not only eye-catching companions but also possess qualities that make them desirable partners. 

Today, let us explore this fascinating concept and understand what is a trophy husband,  the signs to look for, why being a trophy husband is exhausting, and the potential issues that can arise in relationships with them.

What is a Trophy Husband?



Up Next

Feeling Like Roommates In A Marriage? 7 Signs Of Roommate Syndrome And What You Can Do To Change That

Feeling Like Roommates In A Marriage? Signs Spark Is Gone

Are you feeling like roommates in a marriage? You know, that sinking feeling when you realize the spark has fizzled, and your relationship has become more about paying bills and coordinating schedules than love and connection.

The thing is, roommate syndrome is more common than you think, and many couples face this, after being together for a long time. When you are in the roommate phase of a relationship, you might ask yourself why and when the romance disappeared or if you’re both just pretending to be happy.

But that might not be the case. In this article, we are going to look at what is roommate syndrome, the signs of roommate syndrome, and how to deal with roommate syndrome, so that you stop feeling like roommates in a marriage.

So, let’s get started, shall we?



Up Next

Am I In Love Or Just Experiencing Limerence? 5 Signs To Look For

Limerence vs Love? Signs That Differ From True Love

Are you head over heels for somebody or have you plummeted into limerence? Learn the distinction between limerence vs love to make sure that your romantic bond doesn’t turn into a serious addiction.

Limerence is a psychological state that can leave you feeling exhilarated but confused. This state isn’t just another word for love. It has unique properties that differ limerence vs love.

What is limerence vs love?

In simpler words, limerence in a relationship when someone is madly in love with another person. So much so that it affects their mindset and they can’t think of anything else but him/her.

It might not seem too different from love.



Up Next

8 Ways To Upgrade Your Relationship

Ways To Upgrade Your Relationship

Do you feel like your relationship has lost that spark from before? If you answered yes, then you should know that many couples go through this, which is why it’s important to know how to improve your relationship. This article is going to talk about how to strengthen your relationship and upgrade your relationship.

It seems like it should be natural to treat our partners with love, consideration, and respect. Yet, for many people in long-term relationships, the warmth and kindness that were present in the early days of dating can fade over time.

Most people treat their partners with the utmost respect and kindness in the courting stage. The relationship probably wouldn’t have progressed if they hadn’t. Why do so many people present the best version of themselves early on, and over time, treat their beloved partners with disrespect, di



Up Next

5 Ways To Rekindle The Spark In Your Relationship

Ways To Rekindle The Spark In Your Relationship

If you feel that the spark in your relationship is gone, then let me tell you something – you can rekindle the spark in your relationship again! Now the question is, how to reignite the spark in your relationship? How can you make your relationship feel like the olden days again? Let’s find out!

Remember the feelings you experienced when you first started dating your spouse or partner? Perhaps you felt excitement, attraction, and anticipation? As the relationship has progressed, has it been difficult to maintain those initial feelings?

Once life’s responsibilities, careers, kids, and the passing of time are added to the mix, that initial spark can easily diminish if we don’t keep it stoked.

Fortunately



Up Next

How To Deal With Your Partner’s Obsessive Ex? 4 Tips For Successfully Handling One

Deal With Your Partner's Obsessive Ex: Tips And Tricks

Have you ever had to deal with an obsessive ex? Moreover, have you ever had to deal with your partner’s obsessive and toxic ex? If you have, you already know how disturbing it is to go through this. This article is going to talk about some of the best ways to deal with a toxic ex or deal with your partner’s toxic ex.

My friend is happily married to a man who has a child. He is a devoted and loving father who sought full custody of the children; the court denied his petition.

His two children are living with their narcissistic mother who actively alienates the children from their father. His ex was obsessed with him during their short and turbulent relationship. She was deceitful, abusive, controlling, and highly destructive. They hooked up while drunk.



Up Next

Are You Hesitant To Commit? 6 Warning Signs Of Lack Of Commitment In A Relationship And How To Navigate Them

Signs of Lack of Commitment in a Relationship: Red Flags

Do you always find yourself in short-term, casual relationships? Does the idea of committing in a relationship make you nervous? Are you showing signs of lack of commitment in a relationship?

Commitment issues can be a significant barrier to building a healthy and fulfilling partnership, affecting both individuals involved. Today, let us explore what are commitment issues, the signs that may indicate their presence, the underlying causes of commitment issues, and effective strategies to overcome them.

By understanding these factors, you can empower yourself to navigate the complexities of relationships with greater confidence and clarity.

Are You Afraid of Commitment?