They are not supporters. They don’t do the cheerleader role. They will try to assert their control and methodically try to take over and try to take credit for your success, by undermining, demeaning, and manipulating.
They will attack you verbally, emotionally sometimes physically if they feel that their ego is being threatened. You will usually be their emotional punching bag when things go wrong for them.
They have no interest in your growth and expansion. They don’t care about what’s best for you, your happiness or success. They will try to suppress these things, to maintain your compliance and their control.
They will make it very unpleasant for you to maintain outside relationships with family and friends. They want you there, focusing and serving them. They don’t want you to get any ideas, any hint of a better life. They don’t want people that love you to reach out and give you options, so any time you want to go out and socialize without them there will be a problem.
They will think nothing of flirting, spending time with or giving attention to another in your presence. They seek to be revered and the center of attention, it will not compute that their behavior is inappropriate or upsetting you. In fact, they will thrive on pitting one against the other, a term called triangulation. They love the feelings and attention that your jealousy gives them.
Nothing is ever equal. On matters that they care about, they will insist on complete domination. In matters that don’t, they will not lift a finger to help or compromise.
They will not love you for you. They will constantly be trying to change you. They will criticize you and never let you feel comfortable in your own skin.
Their presence and energy will dominate your space. You won’t be able to work or focus on your own projects.
You will never be able to trust them. You will walk on eggshells because you will never know what’s coming or when the next shoe will drop. There is no relaxing, only high stress and anxiety.
You will never feel truly loved. You will never feel comfortable. You will never feel safe.
Why didn’t your relationship work? Stop searching. Stop looking for a way to make it your fault. If your relationship resembled many of the above behaviors, it’s time to stop obsessing. Stop the FBI analysis and start accepting the truth. Your relationship didn’t work out because you were involved with someone who has a personality disorder. It never had a chance.
Written by Savannah Grey Originally appeared on Esteemology.com