A Nostalgic Dialogue Between A Heart And A Mind

 April 20, 2019

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A Nostalgic Dialogue Between A Heart And A Mind



Do you let him know?
Yes, almost every day

How?

Text.

Do you see him?

Yes, sometimes

Why you don’t go and see him and tell all on his face?
I Can, but I respect his social class.

Why don’t you see on one to one?
I can but I respect his privacy.

And I don’t want to ask for what he is not ready or doesn’t willing to do or share.

Hmmm
….Silence.

So What you want to do now?
I don’t know, but I know that I have to take a step ahead..
I have to have to have to stop messaging him.
I have to do something…

Have you tried before?

Allah knows, I ‘ve tried.

Once I had deleted his number, I did block him once and I decided to not seeing him again unwillingly.
Feeling challenged, I said , “I am going to stop messaging if it kills me.” Guess What ? I almost died.

So What Now?

I am trying to do the Trying again. Even if it kills me again… And I am already dying thinking that I could lose him for forever.

It is scaring me to death.

So …
I am ready to die and kill my heart with my own hands_.




You are the heart I am talking to.
_Oh..yeah, I mean I will kill myself.

Are you sure are you ready?
No, but Yes, I will try…and Yes I will and Yes I Can.

You haven’t heard the other side of the story.
I have given multiple chances, I have asked many times…if only he can remember and can recall.

So there is no turning back.
I hope Yes.

But I wished I had seen him close once one to one face to face.

If he doesn’t take a step ahead, what can You do?
That’s right. Sigh.

Are you ready..?

What will you do to stop texting him cause I know you can’t forget.

Yes, I can’t block him.
He is not blocking me.
I can’t change my number or delete whatsapp.
I can’t forget his number. I can’t say him to change his number.

So..what next.
I will Delete his number and this will kill me for sure.

You said you are ready.
I have to have,

I don’t want any disturbance further in his life, He has a loving family to love and taken care of.

So you will step back even if you don’t want to.
Yes.. I have to




Really.. be 100% before you go further.
I will never be 100% .. I can never be …I don’t want to lose him
But yes I will try my hardest this time.

What if he wants to talk to you sometimes? In your case looks rare but happens.. sometimes. You know.
Yeah, I understand, He has means and if he want to he can.

Will you talk back.

I wish not like this.. but I don’t know. I can’t say that for future, but messaging is Ending, for 100%. I will never text again until he is not willing to contribute.