A Nostalgic Dialogue Between A Heart And A Mind

 April 20, 2019

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A Nostalgic Dialogue Between A Heart And A Mind

Do you let him know?
Yes, almost every day



Do you see him?

Yes, sometimes

Why you don’t go and see him and tell all on his face?
I Can, but I respect his social class.

Why don’t you see on one to one?
I can but I respect his privacy.

And I don’t want to ask for what he is not ready or doesn’t willing to do or share.


So What you want to do now?
I don’t know, but I know that I have to take a step ahead..
I have to have to have to stop messaging him.
I have to do something…

Have you tried before?

Allah knows, I ‘ve tried.

Once I had deleted his number, I did block him once and I decided to not seeing him again unwillingly.
Feeling challenged, I said , “I am going to stop messaging if it kills me.” Guess What ? I almost died.

So What Now?

I am trying to do the Trying again. Even if it kills me again… And I am already dying thinking that I could lose him for forever.

It is scaring me to death.

So …
I am ready to die and kill my heart with my own hands_.

You are the heart I am talking to.
_Oh..yeah, I mean I will kill myself.

Are you sure are you ready?
No, but Yes, I will try…and Yes I will and Yes I Can.

You haven’t heard the other side of the story.
I have given multiple chances, I have asked many times…if only he can remember and can recall.

So there is no turning back.
I hope Yes.

But I wished I had seen him close once one to one face to face.

If he doesn’t take a step ahead, what can You do?
That’s right. Sigh.

Are you ready..?

What will you do to stop texting him cause I know you can’t forget.

Yes, I can’t block him.
He is not blocking me.
I can’t change my number or delete whatsapp.
I can’t forget his number. I can’t say him to change his number.

So..what next.
I will Delete his number and this will kill me for sure.

You said you are ready.
I have to have,

I don’t want any disturbance further in his life, He has a loving family to love and taken care of.

So you will step back even if you don’t want to.
Yes.. I have to

Really.. be 100% before you go further.
I will never be 100% .. I can never be …I don’t want to lose him
But yes I will try my hardest this time.

What if he wants to talk to you sometimes? In your case looks rare but happens.. sometimes. You know.
Yeah, I understand, He has means and if he want to he can.

Will you talk back.

I wish not like this.. but I don’t know. I can’t say that for future, but messaging is Ending, for 100%. I will never text again until he is not willing to contribute.