For so long I punished myself thinking I was worthless. I truly believed that I deserved it. I believed I was getting old, becoming monotonous, lacking zeal and hence he fell in love with another woman – so happily and enthusiastically. I believed I was an absolute mess, the worst disaster that could have ever happened to him.
Suddenly, this realization struck me – I was you.
And my biggest concern started being you. I feel extremely sorry that it might be too late and I will never be able to save you from this nightmare. The victims of a manipulative person can never escape once he is groomed to act as the narcissistic supply. For the rest of your life, you will live the illusion of being the expectation to his life. You will lie to yourself, desperately trying to recreate your perfect dream. Gradually, without even your conscious idea, your identity will begin to fall apart. You will start living the life he wants you to live, just to make him stay. Like sandpaper, he will push your boundaries until you don’t even know who you are anymore.
Inevitably another woman will enter the scene and will steal him from you as you stole him from me. The truth is, a narcissist is never anyone’s, just their own person. You will be strung along for as long as possible, as I once was. When you give up on his falsehood and defend yourself, your extremely volatile reactions will be used against you to gain sympathy from the new target.
And eventually, you will stand where I do.
I don’t want another innocent individual to go through the exact same experience as I went through. I know that your intentions were not malicious. I know that you were being spoon-fed the exact same lies I believed a long time ago.
You have been lured in by the fantasy land that he promised you. You might not believe it today but one day this letter will make brutal sense. And it will be quite late then.
I do not hate you. But he definitely wants me to hate you.
Manipulative mind games are invincible to everything but love. I will not carry on his legacy by taking part in these triangles anymore, injecting jealousy & hatred to fill the void of his soul.
I am over the phase of mourning the loss. What hurts the most was seeing his mirage fade away. You are lucky that you will get an idea of what is about to unfold through this letter. My request to you is to shower the same empathy and understanding to the woman who replaces you. All we can do to stop this cycle of abuse is to show compassion to one another and help unmask these narcissists.
By recognizing that there is no other woman – we are all that woman.
Wishing you love, hope, and above all: freedom.
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