A castle in the sky


Their first kiss left her breathless.  

 Although she had known him for many years, this was their first date. They talked for hours, got all teary eyed by the music they played and they experienced an intimacy neither of them had ever felt before..

“Oh look” she said, “there’s a full moon, let’s go and have a look” and she jumped up to go on the balcony to have a better view. She’d always been a sucker for full moons, rainbows too for that matter. 

They were standing close together, she could almost feel his body, they were so close.. She moved to go back in and at that very moment he swung his arm around her and in one movement drew her close to him.. And then they kissed….and again … and again

And when it was time for him to go, unable to let go of the embrace, he told her that he once decided never to be in a relationship again. Instead, he told her “I am a man with multiple girlfriends; you are number 4”!

Her immediate thoughts were: “oh really? 4 women? you wish….!” And she dismissed it as wishful bragging…..

 But still she felt disappointed and although she knew that she was not a number 4 type of girl – not a number 2 or 3 either – she held on to the feeling of belonging she felt around him. Her meeting him had a touch of mysticism, like it had to happen, it needed to be so.  And her feelings were so overwhelming that she agreed on a second date.

He opened the doors of his castle in the sky, and she entered anxiously,oblivious and ignorant of what was in store for her. She looked around in amazement..The castle was beautiful, it took him years and years to build. There were chandeliers, gold ornaments, lots and lots of decorations and above all: lots and lots of air… 

Ella sings about it “it’s a Barnum and Bailey world, just as phony as it can be….”

Had she known that there were no 3 other women, that he lived an imaginary life, in his own little head, that he was a little prince, used to being served and waited on. That he would prey on her compasionate being and tell her of his problems, keeping her imprisoned and entangled between feelings of love and knowing this was his responsibility… She was going to be torn apart, she would barely live to tell the tale, she would revisit the core of her child trauma of not being wanted, not being seen and not being fed. His whimsical rage, his childish convictions, inconsistency and lack of responsibility would leave her walking on quicksand. She would feel unsafe and insecure around him.  She would break like she was never broken before. 

Had she only known…..



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