8 Reasons Why Intelligent People Have Poor Social Skills

Reasons Intelligent People Poor Social Skills

Usually, failure is not as big a deal as your mind makes it out to be. You ask a girl out, she says no… and life goes on. You feel bad about it for a few days, and within 2 weeks you no longer really remember it much. And beyond that…

The little failures are necessary to improve your skills. Failing in one conversation is not nearly as bad as the consequences of avoiding taking risks in general.

5. Theycan’t deal with fear and other emotions

An intelligent person’s strength is often their logic, which means their weakness is emotions. When it comes to dealing with emotions… a lot of smart people become totally uncomfortable. Maybe they start to run away from the emotions… especially fear. Fear of being rejected, fear of opening up and connecting with others, and so on.

Since they are poor controlling emotions, intelligent people are highly likely to end up in conflict with others. Because they know the value of good ideas and how bad ideas can ruin the project. So, when they try to correct people, it is taken as a personal offence, which can have terrible consequences at some point.

They may be perfectionists. These people may have very high expectations of themselves about everything they do. When they think they have failed at anything, they judge themselves very harshly. Therefore, intelligent people have poor social skills.

Related: Introvert In A Relationship: Love me but please don’t drain me too much

6. They are nervous and tongue-tied.

When you are genuinely not interested in people with small talks, it is impossible to continue a conversation with someone. If they think they are failing at small talk, they just get even more nervous and tongue-tied. Their harsh self-judgment makes them so anxious that they cannot relax and simply enjoy being with other people.

Some researchers found that a higher level of intelligence correlates with increased levels of generalized as well as social anxiety, which is the major cause of poor social skills.

Intelligent people are quite uncomfortable revealing personal info to people whom they don’t know well. Well, that’s pretty logical because you need to build that trust before you open up to someone. Also, intelligent people are cautious about revealing their vulnerabilities. However, they like to learn from their mistakes and change their behaviour in response to failures. But, it is this cautious behaviour that leads to poor social skills.

Related: Signs You Are A Deep Thinker Who Enjoys Being Alone

7. They invest time in thinking about serious matters

Ordinary topics may bore intelligent people like hell. They may be very serious people and believe that they should only spend their time thinking about serious matters and talking about matters of serious concern.

They may believe that talking about unimportant things is a waste of time. This makes them get bored very quickly with small talk that doesn’t seem to lead anywhere.

Being highly intelligent, you may often find it tough to find common ground with people. People listening to may not be able to relate to your ideas and opinions. You may be enthusiastic about the latest discoveries in robotics and artificial intelligence, and get bored when people are talking about movies or back bitching about others.

intelligent people
8 Reasons Why Intelligent People Have Poor Social Skills

8. They don’t want to spend time with average people

In some cases, people who are smarter than average actually feel superior to others and believe they should not waste their time with average people having average conversations. But, when they talk to other intelligent people and speak about intellectual matters they get overly heated and enthusiastic, which forces people to think that intelligent people are aggressively opinionated.

Anyone can learn to handle and even MASTER their emotions (even fear)…if they just take the time and effort to learn HOW to do it.

If this is you, then do yourself a favour please… take the time. Take the effort. What matters is you doing the things that YOU need to do FOR YOU.


8 Reasons Why Intelligent People have poor Social Skills
Reasons Intelligent People Poor Social Skills pin
8 Reasons Why Intelligent People Have Poor Social Skills

8 thoughts on “8 Reasons Why Intelligent People Have Poor Social Skills”

  1. Avatar of Sarah Garza

    Why is it that this painfully makes so much sense to me! Although I don’t feel superior to others but it is how many perceive me.

  2. Avatar of Joe McHugh

    Reason #9
    It’s hard to hold a conversation with an unintelligent person because they are boring and have nothing constructive to to add to the conversation, so you get irritated at them.

    It doesn’t all have to do with shortcomings of intelligent people, trying to talk to a person with the IQ of a golden retriever can be obnoxious and frustrating. Not to say all people, but there are some that just make it painful, and I don’t consider myself particularly intelligent or superior to anybody.

    1. Avatar of Joe McHugh

      EDIT:
      Hahaha okay, I have to laugh at myself, I wrote the following interpreting that what you said was that I may think I’m superior to others. After I wrote it, it occurred to me that you may have meant that I was intelligent, in which case, thank you, I appreciate the compliment. I’m going to leave what I wrote as I feel it still expresses a bit more thoroughly what I had meant. Cheers!

      ORIGINAL:
      I understand why I may come across like that, to be fair, I did sound rather asinine. What I said was intended to reflect the idea that it’s difficult to talk to some people, not just for reasons stated in the article. The article uses examples such as over-thinking, shyness, etc., but it doesn’t touch upon the idea of how difficult it can be for an intelligent person to talk to someone who isn’t as intelligent, it can be very frustrating. To the point that a person may not want to interact with others because they don’t want to have to explain, argue, reason out, or anything with people.
      Like trying to have a discussion about equality with someone who is racist, sometimes it’s too frustrating to even want to talk to them. Not that they aren’t an amazing engineer, programmer, teacher, or what have you, but that discussion is just not something you want to touch upon because they have a narrow minded opinion of how race dictates the quality of a person.

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