8 Reasons Why Intelligent People Have Poor Social Skills

Written By:

Written By:

Reasons Intelligent People Poor Social Skills 1

Do you ever have trouble making conversation with others even though you consider yourself to be a very smart and intelligent person? If so, this may puzzle you. This post highlights the reasons why intelligent people have poor social skills.

The truth is that social skills and intelligence donโ€™t necessarily go together. And the million-dollar question is why is it that some very smart people can be so socially inept or socially awkward?

So Iโ€™ve put together this short list of ways your intelligence makes you FAIL in social situationsโ€ฆ and what to do about it. Here are some of the reasons why very intelligent, very creative people often have difficulty in making small talk successfully.

Related: 3 Common Mental Mistakes Even Smart People Make

8 Reasons Why Intelligent People Have Poor Social Skills

Reasons Why Intelligent People Have Poor Social Skills info

1. They seek information instead of developing skills.

Through practice. Doing something over and over again is what allows you to develop a skill. Sure, thereโ€™s some basic training you NEED to go through, but to go from being bad to good in a skillโ€ฆ youโ€™ll have to put in the time and effort.

Yet there are a lot of socially inept people who donโ€™t treat social skills in this way. Instead, they look for the one last magic piece of information that will solve all their problems.

And you donโ€™t get them by THINKING about them, you get them by GETTING them. This means youโ€™ll learn more by in 2 hours of actually getting out of the house and talking to people than you will in 20 hours of โ€œeducationโ€.

2. They think too much.

Itโ€™s because being social and contributing to a conversation is not a problem to be solved by thinking. Itโ€™s more about an energetic and spontaneous expression of how youโ€™re feeling.

You should rely more on speaking from your GUT feeling and instinct instead of trying to carefully plan and think through everything you say.

If you canโ€™t think of what to say, you probably go on thinking and thinking and thinking. Taxing your brain to come up with some good and interesting conversation topic to talk about. Because you care what you say and place importance on your words instead of people. You donโ€™t want to look awkward.

Never realizing that THINKING TOO MUCH is the main reason you have a problem speaking up more to begin with! Overthinking is one of the main reasons why intelligent people have poor social skills.

The Problem With The World Is That The Intelligent People

3. They psych themselves out.

Your mind is designed to remember the past or simulate the future to help you survive in life.ย Smart people take this future simulating and risk-avoiding nature of the brain way too far sometimes. How? By coming up with all of the reasons why everything will not work when it comes to social situations.

For example, maybe you want to ask a girl out on a date. But then your mind imagines and you create an awkward silence and then you say โ€œHiโ€โ€ฆ And you imagine her saying โ€œNoโ€โ€ฆ and then her telling everyone else in the world about what a loser and a creep you areโ€ฆ and then you have to see her every day still and try to avoid feeling super awkward. And finally, you donโ€™t ask her out.

Related: Why Intelligent People Canโ€™t Find Happiness

4. They have a high level of emotional quotient.

Having a high emotional quotient it doesnโ€™t take much time to read micro-expressions and understand subtle body language cues in other people. You can easily figure it out whether the other person is impatient, bored, or extrovert. Accordingly, your interest in conversation with people may decrease or increase.

Imagining the worst that can happen causes you to not even try. You probably avoid a lot of parties, conversations and social situations for fear of the worst happeningโ€ฆ all thanks to your smart mind which has made you see all the โ€œrisks.โ€

Usually, failure is not as big a deal as your mind makes it out to be. You ask a girl out, she says noโ€ฆ and life goes on. You feel bad about it for a few days, and within 2 weeks you no longer really remember it much. And beyond thatโ€ฆ

Little failures are necessary to improve your skills. Failing in one conversation is not nearly as bad as the consequences of avoiding taking risks in general.

5. They canโ€™t deal with fear and other emotions.

An intelligent personโ€™s strength is often their logic, which means their weakness is emotions. When it comes to dealing with emotions, a lot of smart people become totally uncomfortable. Maybe they try to stay away from certain emotions especially fear. Fear of being rejected, fear of opening up and connecting with others, and so on.

Since they are poor at controlling emotions, intelligent people are highly likely to end up in conflict with others. Because they know the value of good ideas and how bad ideas can ruin the project. So, when they try to correct people, it is taken as a personal offence, which can have terrible consequences at some point.

Almost every intelligent person out there is a perfectionist. They may have very high expectations of themselves about everything they do. When they think they have failed at anything, they judge themselves very harshly. Therefore, intelligent people have poor social skills.

Related: 9 Surprising Downsides of Being Highly Intelligent

6. They get nervous and tongue-tied.

When you are genuinely not interested in engaging in small talk, conversations with people can become terribly limited. If they think they are failing at small talk, they just get even more nervous and tongue-tied. Their harsh self-judgment makes them so anxious that they cannot relax and simply enjoy being with other people.

Some researchers found that a higher level of intelligence correlates with increased levels of generalized as well asย social anxiety, which is the major cause of poor social skills.

Intelligent people are quite uncomfortable revealing personal information to people whom they donโ€™t know very well. Well, thatโ€™s pretty logical because you need to build that trust before you open up to someone. Also, intelligent people are cautious about revealing their vulnerabilities.

However, they like to learn from their mistakes and change their behaviour in response to failures. But, it is this cautious behaviour that leads to poor social skills sometimes.

7. They invest time in thinking about serious matters.

Ordinary topics may bore intelligent people like hell. They like thinking about serious things, especially things that most people donโ€™t think about. Intelligent people have a lot of emotional depth and intellect, and thatโ€™s why they like to think about important and deep things.

They may believe that talking about unimportant things is a waste of time. This makes them get bored very quickly with small talk that doesnโ€™t seem to lead anywhere.

Being highly intelligent, you may often find it tough to find common ground with other people. People listening to you may not be able to relate to your ideas and opinions. You may be enthusiastic about the latest discoveries in robotics and artificial intelligence, and get bored when people talk about movies or gossip about others.

intelligent people

8. They donโ€™t want to spend time with average people.

In some cases, people who have above average intelligence, feel superior to others and believe they should not waste their time with average people having average conversations.

But, when they talk to other intelligent people and speak about intellectual matters they get overly heated and enthusiastic, which forces people to think that intelligent people are aggressively opinionated.

Related: 12 Counterintuitive Traits Of Genuinely Smart People

Anyone can learn to handle and even MASTER their emotions (even fear). if they just take the time and effort to learn HOW to do it.

If this is you, then do yourself a favour, please. Make the time. Make an effort. What matters is you doing the things that YOU need to do FOR YOU.


8 Reasons Why Intelligent People have poor Social Skills
Reasons Intelligent People Poor Social Skills pin
Reasons Intelligent People Poor Social Skills pin
Reasons Why Intelligent People Have Poor Social Skills pin

— Share —

Published On:

Last updated on:

,

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Heart Line Personality Test: What It Reveals About Your Inner Personality

Heart Line Personality Test Results To Know Your True Self

Ever wondered how the lines on your palms can reflect your inner personality? This heart line personality test holds the key to revealing your deepest traits and how you navigate relationships and life. 

Palmistry is the practice of predicting the future by analyzing the lines and patterns on a person’s palm.

In this heart line palm test, we’ll explore the fascinating connections between the shape and alignment of your palm lines and your unique personality.

So, whether you’re a peacemaker, an adventurous spirit, or a thinker, your heart line speaks volumes about you. Take a closer look at your hands, and letโ€™s dive into what your heart line reveals about you, are you ready to discover what lies beneath the surface? Letโ€™s go!

Up Next

The Art of Slow Travel: 4 Benefits Of Wandering Mindfully

Amazing Benefits of Slow Travel Trend: Let's Go!

Instead of rushing to check off a list of must-see attractions, try โ€œslow travelโ€ where you can step out with no rigid plans, only the desire to explore at your own pace. 

Sipping coffee at a quiet cafรฉ, chatting with a local vendor at the market, and meandering through winding streets, the slow travel trend is the art of immersing yourself fully in a place, not just passing through it.

Youโ€™re simply absorbing the moment. Where the journey matters just as much as the destination.

So, What Is Slow Travel?

Wondering what is slow travel? It is a sustainable alternative to mass tourism, focusing on deeper

Up Next

2025’s Horror Lineup Will Leave You Sleeping With the Lights On!

Top Most Anticipated Horror Movies of

2024 was a treat for horror fans, with spine-chilling releases like Nosferatu and Longlegs. But 2025 might be the best one yet.

Not only are we getting the final Conjuring film, we also get to see the much awaited Guillermo del Toroโ€™s take on the classic novel Frankenstein. It does not matter if you are into video game adaptations, want to see Cillian Murphy in a terrifying role, or want a vampire story with a twist, the 2025 horror lineup has something for everyone.

And if you are still not convinced, we have Leigh Whannell (creator of Insidious and Saw) returning behind the cameras. To keep you in the loop, weโ€™ve put together a list of the most anticipated horror movies of 2025.

Up Next

Exploring Parasocial Relationships With Gods

Parasocial Relationships With Gods Important Points

How have parasocial relationships evolved from ancient times to the digital age? Explore the connections with gods in this modern age.

How the gods are like social influencers.

Key points

Humans indulge in all sorts of imaginary parasocial relationships.

The exercise of the imagination in parasocial relationships makes those relationships feel real.

Humansโ€™ relationships with the gods are examples of parasocial relationships.

Up Next

Does Performing Rituals Build Character?

Does Performing Rituals Build Character? Important Points

How does performing rituals shape our inner self? This thought-provoking question explores whether ritual participation can lead to personal growth, and moral character. Let’s explore!

Experimental evidence suggests that ritual participation enhances self-control.

Key points

Popular assumptions about connections between religions and morality typically focus on religious beliefs.

Mindless routines seem unlikely candidates for enhancing the virtues.

Cross-cultural experimental evidence suggests that ritual participation enhances childrenโ€™s self-control.

Up Next

Law of Attraction Not Working for You? 6 Reasons Why (And How to Fix It!)

Law of Attraction Not Working? Reasons And How to Fix It

Is the law of attraction not working for you? I know how frustrating this can feel. You are putting in all that effort, visualizing the kind of life you want, saying all the right affirmations, and…still nothing.

No million-dollar check in the mail, no soulmate, and no dream job coming your way. So, why is your manifestation not working? Well, the truth is, there can be quite a few sneaky reasons why things might not be panning out the way you are hoping them to be.

Today, we are going to break all of that down and try to understand why law of attraction is not working for you, despite you pulling all the stops.

First, let’s start with trying to understand what is the law of attraction, shall we?

Up Next

Sassy, And Sharp: 4 Witty Zodiac Signs Ever!

Sassy, And Sharp Witty Zodiac Signs Ever!

Ever been caught off guard by someoneโ€™s comeback? The kind that leaves everyone rolling on the floor! There are some witty zodiac signs that just seem to have a natural knack for comedy and wit, just like Chandler Bing from Friends.

Do you have razor-sharp sarcasm, clever observations, or are blessed with the ability to find humor in the most mundane situations? Letโ€™s find if your zodiac makes it to the list.

find the most witty zodiac signs

Eager to fi