7.) Work and home demands
Many couples have difficulty having the conversation about how they will balance their work and home life demands. Trying to make sure that everything is fair and equal often results in fights. Some couples keep score (this never works and undermines the health part of the relationship). How do you talk about what your expectations are? Are the lofty and not achievable? How important is your work to you? Are there work expectations that need to be addressed so that your partner feels like they are included in the decision? How do you think you can balance both work and home demands? When deciding on ‘house chores’ make sure you decide on an equitable split of the chores or an agreement where both of you are happy. I often suggest that couples begin with the things they like to do are good at. This provides them with strengths so when they have to look at the remaining items, there’s a stronger likelihood of a team effort rather than what’s not fair.
This is a must-have conversation that all too often people ‘kind of’ talk about. Do you really want children or feel you should. And if so, how many children do you want? How you will financially support them? How much will your family be involved (if this is an option). Also, will one parent stay at home for a period of time as the one income family is more of a thing of the past than the norm anymore? What is your parenting styles? Are they similar? How will you reconcile the differences in how you were raised and how you wish to parent if this exists? Do you plan to parent how your parents raised you? What are your thoughts about how you will go about nurturing the relationship once children arrive on the scene?
Taking a proactive and honest approach to this most important decision in your life, will allow these conversations to take place and evolve so that you start your marriage off on the right path!
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