In the same way that a long-term weather pattern creates a climate in a particular region, if the climate of any of your relationships has proven – over time – that you typically feel put upon and used, then those are the ones that you now consider releasing.
5) You’re more concerned about what you’re doing with your life than what your Ex is doing with theirs.
You no longer obsess about your ex with their new supply or the fact that they seem so happy because you’ve come to understand that your Ex is destined to repeat the same cycle of abuse with anyone they are with at any given time.
6) You no longer focus on problems, but on solutions.
You realize that you have the power to conquer and change your circumstances, rather than remain defenseless against whatever stunts your Ex might be playing.
You understand that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. If you need to delete an email you’ve had for years because your Ex emails you from different accounts, you delete it. If you need to file a restraining order because your Ex is stalking and harassing you, you drive to the courthouse and file it.
If you see the need to charge your cell phone number and insist that they call you on your landline, you do so. If your Ex sends you unwanted gifts and flowers, you mark them “return to sender” or refuse the delivery. You fight the good fight to protect your newfound freedom.
7) You no longer consider what happened to you a punishment, but rather an eye-opener because you understand that it happened so you could heal the wounds you’ve carried since childhood.
You’ve arrived as a survivor from narcissistic abuse because you no longer look to your Ex for approval or appreciation, knowing that even the appearance of those things comes with a high price. You accept that there are people whose behavior is disturbingly damaging, but you no longer open yourself up to it. Instead, you respond appropriately, with full awareness of why it’s necessary to do so.
You’ve arrived as a survivor because you no longer tolerate anything that discounts your value – from anyone – for you’ve become your own best friend and advocate.
Copyright © 2015 Kim Saeed. All Rights Reserved This article was originally published at Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed and is protected from copyright infringement. It has been republished on The Minds Journal with permission from the author. Want to know more about surviving narcissistic abuse? Check out How to Do No Contact Like a Boss!
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