Restoration, Recovery and Healing and Predator Proofing
Dating a Sociopath: 7 Reasons to Suspect We’re Dating a Sociopath
Sociopaths don’t respond normally to normal things. For example, when something bad happens as our pet turtle dies, or our cat gets sick, or we lose a family member they remain kind of neutral, almost bored, or say something like, such a pity and go on watching Netflix. Or, throw off a blast of ice-cold freeze out.
Narcissistic predators say things like I don’t have feelings. Or I’m going to teach you a lesson, and they aren’t talking about tennis or playing the piano. Or when we’re deep in it, as I heard one day from the nut case who hijacked me in marriage, I can’t make you do what I want you to, but I can make you wish you had.
1. Things Are Unclear and Foggy or Scary or Too Exciting
- Things feel weird. And like they’re lying.
- What they say doesn’t make sense easily.
- We spend time coming up with explanations for what they say, and it still doesn’t really make sense. – If we defend them to people around us: We’re hooked.
- The room goes out of focus and small things come into focus.
- Our hearing hones in on only a few sounds in the room or in the moment.
- We’re not sure where they live, or where they are when they’re not with us.
- They talk about doing something for us or with us. It’s something we really, really want, like so much we can’t believe it, or it’s really, really weird. The good stuff never happens. The weird stuff does.
- They seem kind of uninterested in things we say or give an answer that is less than what would be normally expected.
2. Lying is Life: Lies Are Real and Real is Made Up
Lying deceivers aren’t where they say they’ll be: We run into them when they said they couldn’t come out with us or they’d be somewhere else.
The invader parasite sociopath has a whole world we aren’t in: We come across them out at a club when they said they were staying home – and then they ignore us, or tell us we should be at home. They don’t join us but freeze us out of their night on the town.
“A narcissist doesn’t care how he makes you feel as long as he provokes an emotion from you it makes him feel superior and powerful. But one day you will look at him and feel nothing.”
3. Signs of Dating a Sociopath Include Lots of Disappointment
Being used by a pathological predator involves being stood up with lame explanations or no explanation. If we’re dating a sociopath they might make a date with us and show up two hours late, or not at all. After that, they’re mad that we’re mad and more mad that we ask about it. And more than one of us has heard the sociopath we’re dating say, Don’t question me.
Sociopaths busy themselves dating us and about 800 other people at the same time. They keep things close to their vest. They sleep with their phones. Lock their phone. Take their phone into the bathroom. Block us from their Facebook.
Dating sociopaths often – like every single moment – overstep normal boundaries. In addition to being deceptive about who they are and about their intention in our lives – lying about every fundamental basic that is: They don’t heed the natural and normal boundaries we have and that we expect others to have. It’s not uncommon to have a creepy feeling like they’ve been looking through our drawers or catch them looking over our shoulder as we punch in our PIN. There always the quick-shifting and closing of the laptop when we walk into the room.
And, maybe you’ve noticed, predator sociopaths take things. Mysteriously, there’s money missing from our sock drawer, or from that envelope in between the dusty-never-used dictionary and “East of Eden” on the bookshelf. – Especially when they’re gearing up to exit our lives.