Primal Defenses Kick In: Trust Your Gut
Brave little me looks the prepubescent beast straight in his eyes. At the millisecond I registered his leer, his curled lip revealing tiny, pointy yellowish teeth, my right arm pulls itself back, my hand in a rock-hard fist ready to smash his face. – Something I’d never done in my life.
His eyes open wide from the slits of a hunter; shock replaces the cocky, shit-bag expression on his ugly freckled face. He leans back from his waist and comes closer all at once. He hisses through a clenched jaw, threatening: Don’t you hit me. – I didn’t. I did look straight into his eyes looking for a person. There wasn’t one. But, he did look scared. Of me. Then I said not a word except a telepathic, silent human to the beast: Don’t you fuck with me.
Those specific words were not in my head, but surely there were screaming in my five foot two and 98-pound intention. He backed off. The crowds dispersed… And everything after that is a blur. I spent the rest of the 5th grade in the nurse’s office or sitting in the counselor’s room every recess.
Persistence of Predators: They Don’t Heed Boundaries
And then, either before or after that nice day, another fine day this grimy psycho kid shows me a messed up sketch he’d made. Presented it like a gift. – Smeared pencil on a piece of lined notebook paper; so many creases where he’d feverishly folded and unfolded the page in sweaty hands it was almost tattered. It was a crude drawing of an underground fort. Dugout and built next to a tree, entwined in its roots. He told me this is where he planned to take me and keep me. #muterkelly
It’s the Brain
Sociopaths Need Normal People to Survive: They Count on Us Not Knowing What They Are
“A narcissist will say ‘get over it’, because your feelings are trivial to them. If it’s not about them, they’re not interested.”
Turns out, I used to be the kind of person sociopaths really like. Someone they like to date, marry, and maybe even kidnap. A lot of us are this kind of person: Because we’re alive. – You know, someone these predators sniff out as delicious prey.
The thing is: Somewhere in my body I was already afraid of this stranger I’d married. He too wanted things to seem okay, so he came into the market next door with me. It felt a lot like that encounter with a sociopath child while I was a child, that day on the playground in 5th grade.
And this doesn’t mean we’re stupid, or a doormat, or codependent. — And don’t even go down the road of thinking you or I am sociopath magnets… The very idea of a sociopath magnet implies it’s the targeted prey who are at fault for the fall down the rabbit hole. So not true.
Wanting a relationship and working for it doesn’t mean we’re codependent. Nice does not equal doormat. Dating a sociopath-con-man does not signify that we’re stupid. It does indicate our natural goodness and view of the world from the heart and eyes of normal.
We’re Not Stupid: We Do Need to Know and Accept That Monsters Exist
Sociopaths don’t get far or get much to support their lives out of stupid. Don’t forget, we unwittingly hold up their world; stupid can’t hold up tier own world and another grown person’s too. Codependent simply does not apply as the case of this criminal hijacking arrangement they set up. It’s more like instant hypnosis, and unless you’ve been in it: Sit down. – That is what you can all those people who say: Didn’t you know…? Why didn’t you just leave…?
What the Beasts Need
What they do work with, and do a lot with, is our emotions. That’s what they’re after… They don’t care really about which emotion; they just want a normal human one. Our natural normal response from the world of normal. Our human emotions based on our ordinary and extraordinary kindness. They want open hearts, people who care, and people who don’t know what a predator is and that these revolting creatures exist… Even in 5th grade.