I’m not saying that the things that women have done to you are justified. I’m sure you have felt immense pain, sadness, betrayal, and hurt at the hands of women. And I’m truly sorry for that.
But continuing on in life seeing all women as the enemy is just keeping you stuck in an old trauma response that isn’t serving you any longer.
Ultimately, if you aren’t at a time in your life where you are ready to hear that and let it in, even 5%, then there’s nothing I can do about that. You have to be willing to open your heart and let the pain start to flow through you. And that will only ever be your decision to make. And make no mistake about it, there will be a pain to feel.
The exact reason that you have anger or hate towards women is
that there is unfelt hurt that still lives in your body. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be the anger. Anger is a secondary emotion, and what it is most often hiding are hurt and sadness.
If today is the day that you feel a bit more willing to maybe, possibly start to let go of the anger, hurt, and sadness in your heart that you have towards women, then I really honor you for that. And I have a set of things that you can do that might help you along in your process. You don’t have to do them all in a row… and you can even do them multiple times over the coming years if you feel so inclined (it might even be beneficial to do so).
A heart that is hardened with hatred is like the dry, cracked desert floor. If the desert floor is too dry, when water is applied to it, most of the water simply runs off and isn’t absorbed. But with repeated applications of water, slowly the ground softens and the water begins to be absorbed. So it is with doing the following steps. You are applying love, compassion, and tenderness to these parts of your mind, and in so doing, you get to transition from contraction and anger, to love and compassion, over time.
Related: 12 Tips To Self-Love And Compassion
Without further ado, here are a few things that I would suggest trying out if you want to stop hating women.
1. Make a list of all of the terrible things that women have ever done to you
The first step in any healing journey is the reversal of denial, followed by ownership. In other words, reversing the denial of the fact that you still have anger/hatred towards women, and then acknowledging all of the reasons that your anger/hatred is being upheld.
Take out several pieces of paper, and physically write down all of the things that women have ever done to hurt you. All of the events, all of the terrible things they have said to you, all of the ways in which you were abused, victimized, or made to feel bad. This is not the time to hold back and/or make excuses for women.
Think and stop hating women…
I really encourage you to be as mean as possible during this step. Speak from your pain with full totality. There’s no need to include any softening statements like “But I know that she was doing the best she could with who she was at the time.” None of that. Go full, uncensored, vitriol-spewing jerk with it. “That useless fucking idiot… that manipulative bitch… did XYZ to me.”
Depending on your unique history with women, this process may take some time. Once you are finished, move on to the next step.
2. Feel all of your feelings associated with those events, to the best of your ability
Having used the truth as a scalpel to open up your old wounds, now it is time to feel all of the pain, hurt, anger, and sadness that oozes out of those wounds.