Of course, once you find out more information about the person you’ve fallen for, you’ll surely snap out of it. Nevertheless, falling for someone on even the shallowest of levels reminds you that you are capable of loving again. Think of it as a small step on a long journey.
3. Make it clear to yourself why you had to part ways.
Have you ever had to stop yourself and rethink why exactly it was that you and this particular individual decided to call it quits? You’re not alone. As time passes, our minds wander into the past, recollecting past pleasant memories and emotions.
We transport ourselves into a time of deep love and passion — something very dangerous as your goal is to let that individual go and allow yourself to move on with your life.
Every time a pleasant thought or memory of that individual and the life you once had enters your mind, counter with a negative thought or memory. Love exists in your mind and because it does, you can learn to have better control of it.
You may not be able to choose who you fall in love with and don’t fall in love with, but you can pair up an individual with enough negative feelings to naturally ward yourself off them.
Even if you can’t convince yourself to hate this person, reminding yourself regularly of why you had to call it quits can make your life a whole lot easier.
4. Make it clear to yourself why you need to let this person go completely.
Sometimes relationships can be saved and passions rekindled. And sometimes we know that when something is over, it needs to remain over.
It’s one thing to understand why you and he or she broke up and it’s another to understand why you and he or she must remain broken up.
Again, you have to be careful with allowing your emotions to run loose — emotions are complex and often deceiving, pulling you away from reality. Take a step back, take a deep breath, clear your head, and reason with yourself as to why you need to continue moving on with your life.
You need to remain clear on your intentions and reasoning because if you don’t those emotions will catch up with you, and you’ll end up doing something that you’ll later regret.
5. Take the time to imagine the perfect person and then point out which areas your past lover falls short.
This is something I believe too few people ever bother to bother with. We all hope — expect even — that we will one day find the man or woman of our dreams.
My question is: How will you know you’ve found love when you have no idea what would make up the man or woman of your dreams?
We all know that no one is perfect, but that doesn’t mean we can’t outline the characteristics we admire in a partner. Sure, you may never find someone who fits your criteria exactly, but that doesn’t matter.
Your perfect partner is more of a guideline than a set of requirements — a guideline that you should use to compare potential suitors. Whether they fall short or not doesn’t matter because in the end you still get the last say in the matter (well, you and whomever you’re courting).
What this guideline is also often good for is helping you understand how far off the mark your last love was. It can help put things in better perspective for you.
6. Find the love of your life.
I understand that you believe that the last person you were in love with was the love of your life and that you don’t believe you will find another — if you didn’t then you probably wouldn’t have read this far — but I’m here to tell you that as soon as you meet the real love of your life, the last one will become overshadowed.
This isn’t to say that you’ll forget that love entirely, but your new love will make the last one diminish in intensity. You may still think about this person occasionally — if it were a deep love, it likely influenced you tremendously — but you won’t be yearning for this person in particular.
Love is like a drug… it doesn’t matter who’s supplying, as long as the supply is good. A new love drowns out the last. This isn’t to say that you’ll entirely stop loving him or her.