4. You view each other’s feelings as criticism.
When you voice your feelings, when you feel afraid, unhappy, confused, unfulfilled, or like your essential relationship needs are not being met, does your partner hear your feelings as criticism?
Are they constantly defensive when you speak your mind?
Do they make you feel like your feelings are ridiculous?
Do they minimize and marginalize what you are saying?
If that is the case, try couples counseling because the issue might be your differing communication styles. You might also have completely different opinions and priorities. And it is extremely difficult to have a relationship on that foundation.
5. You both have different time frames and partnership expectations.
If you want to get married within a year and a half and get knocked up within 2 years, you need to have a conversation with your partner about it. If you have different life expectations and your life desires are more important than your relationship, you have to talk about.
This is an honest conversation about your needs that explains, “This is where I stand. This is the course I am on. Are you on this course too?”
Especially, if you are at a time in your life where you feel like your window to have children is closing, being upfront with what you are looking for out of this relationship is absolutely realistic.
The fact is that some men just won’t commit. They have girlfriends for 8 years, then they feel like the relationship has run its course and they jump ship. It’s a pattern. Or maybe they just truly don’t see a life with you. They think you’re great and they are really enjoying your relationship, but they don’t see it going anywhere beyond where it is.
You are on a ride that will end, that’s for sure. The only question is: when? He knows that this relationship will not move into marriage. He will not be proposing. Although he wants kids, he does not want kids with you and you have the right to know that.
6. You are unhappy with each other.
You may be deeply in love the guy — to the depths of your soul, with each breath you take, and if you could drink him you would because he is like a drug. You crave him but he’s killing you. You’re in a bad relationship. And that’s when it’s time to break up.
Breaking your own heart can be the most torturous and confusing breakup of all because you can’t help but question whether you’re making the right move. You know you’re unhappy, you aren’t getting what you need in the relationship, but your heart feels like it is splitting in two, even though you’re the one ending it.
Being in a bad relationship can lead to depression, a lifetime of insecurities, unhealthy behaviors and thoughts, and a temporary loss of self. It’s time to walk away.
Run if you think it’s necessary. Eventually, your love will fade, and you’ll stop thinking about him every minute. Then, one day, you’ll realize that you didn’t think about him for days. And in time, he fades away.