If that is the case, try couples counseling because the issue might be your differing communication styles. You might also have completely different opinions and priorities. And it is extremely difficult to have a relationship on that foundation.
5. You both have different time frames and partnership expectations.
If you want to get married within a year and a half and get knocked up within 2 years, you need to have a conversation with your partner about it. If you have different life expectations and your life desires are more important than your relationship, you have to talk about.
This is an honest conversation about your needs that explains, “This is where I stand. This is the course I am on. Are you on this course too?”
Especially, if you are at a time in your life where you feel like your window to have children is closing, being upfront with what you are looking for out of this relationship is absolutely realistic.
The fact is that some men just won’t commit. They have girlfriends for 8 years, then they feel like the relationship has run its course and they jump ship. It’s a pattern. Or maybe they just truly don’t see a life with you. They think you’re great and they are really enjoying your relationship, but they don’t see it going anywhere beyond where it is.
You are on a ride that will end, that’s for sure. The only question is: when? He knows that this relationship will not move into marriage. He will not be proposing. Although he wants kids, he does not want kids with you and you have the right to know that.
6. You are unhappy with each other.
You may be deeply in love the guy — to the depths of your soul, with each breath you take, and if you could drink him you would because he is like a drug. You crave him but he’s killing you. You’re in a bad relationship. And that’s when it’s time to break up.
Breaking your own heart can be the most torturous and confusing breakup of all because you can’t help but question whether you’re making the right move. You know you’re unhappy, you aren’t getting what you need in the relationship, but your heart feels like it is splitting in two, even though you’re the one ending it.
Being in a bad relationship can lead to depression, a lifetime of insecurities, unhealthy behaviors and thoughts, and a temporary loss of self. It’s time to walk away.
Run if you think it’s necessary. Eventually, your love will fade, and you’ll stop thinking about him every minute. Then, one day, you’ll realize that you didn’t think about him for days. And in time, he fades away.
But, how do you know you’re in a bad relationship?
- He is physically or emotionally abusive.
- You don’t like who you are when you’re with him.
- You feel like you’re suffocating.
- You are lonelier when you’re with him than you are when you’re alone.
- He is possessive of you in an unhealthy way.
- He doesn’t celebrate your accomplishments but would rather one-up you instead.
- He puts you down when you’re with other people and makes you feel like an idiot.
- You’re afraid that he will get mad at you when you talk to or hang out with your friends, so you feel like you have to lie.
- He checks your phone because he is convinced that you are cheating—but you aren’t.
- You can’t remember the last time you smiled.
- You stop wanting to be your best self.
- You stop putting energy into your appearance (i.e., shaving, makeup) not because you feel comfortable but because you don’t care.
- You are making excuses for him.
- You feel like you are settling for less than you deserve.
- You don’t want to touch him.
- You make excuses as to why you can’t have sex or even kiss, right now.
- Everything and everyone else is more important than spending time with him.
It’s time to end it.