It is important to be true to yourself and your own values and walk our own path even if it means that you may lose people in the process.
There is no point in having a relationship where you lose yourself.
“The truth is, we tend to train people how we want to be treated. If others know you have wishy-washy boundaries then they are free to walk all over you; the results…you become a doormat. We have actually trained others to do this when we will allow people to wipe their muddy feet on us. After all, we are doormats.”
― David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough
4) Your body rejects their energy
Our bodies and gut instincts are smarter than we know. If you feel a tension in your body or constricted feeling in your gut, when you are with someone, your body is rejecting their energy.
You may not have a logical reason but trust your gut instinct. Either really dig out this person and get to know their real motives or simply walk away.
Our bodies and guts have a way of picking energies and if you feel even slight discomfort or fear in someone’s presence, it is wise to listen to your own body and tread carefully.
5) They have a lot of skeletons in their closet
If someone comes to you with sob stories about how unfairly they were treated in their past, by their bosses, girlfriends or mother and looks for comfort in your loving arms, they really aren’t in love with you but only looking for a rescuer.
You are not here to rescue anyone or be their mother.
6) You feel like you’re on a roller coaster ride
Do you feel that you can’t predict his behavior? One day he calls you ten times a day and then forgets to check your text for the next five days and then again texts you showering his love and affection on you like nothing has happened.
This on and off attention can seem exciting and passion filled initially but it is exhausting and draining in the long run.
A healthy relationship seems secure, safe and stable and doesn’t keep you guessing.
Also, it’s very important to be on the same page with your partner in terms of your expectations from the relationship.
You could be looking forward to a serious relationship and he could be looking for a fling. Such mismatch of expectations is bound to create friction and confusion in the long run.
It is better to be clear about each other’s motives for being in a relationship so that you can make an informed decision about whether you want to stay in a relationship or move on. I know it can be hard to let go of someone you love, but if you see these warning signs in a relationship, it is better to tread your path carefully.
It helps to observe the reality and facts from a certain detached and distant state rather than being carried away by emotions.
“Detachment also involves accepting reality—the facts. It requires faith—in us, in God, in other people, and in the natural order and destiny of things in this world. We believe in the rightness and appropriateness of each moment. We release our burdens and cares, and give ourselves the freedom to enjoy life in spite of our unsolved problems. We trust that all is well in spite of the conflicts. We trust that someone greater than ourselves knows has ordained, and cares about what is happening. We understand that this someone can do much more to solve the problem than we can. So we try to stay out of His way and let Him do it. In time, we know that all is well because we see how the strangest (and sometimes most painful) things work out for the best and for the benefit of everyone.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself