Kelley Johnson, PhD, a clinical sexologist based in North Carolina, says to have the conversation about the speed of your relationship early:
“Talking about [your boundaries] early on and making sure your partner is on the same page and has an understanding of who you are is so important.”
Setting boundaries early keeps you from hurting his feelings later when you say you want some space, or want to give him some. But you’ll both benefit from it.
He’ll miss you, I guarantee.
5. Leave a Little Mystery in the Conversation
Being mysterious makes him want you more.
Now, there’s a reason why when we watch a trailer for a movie we can’t wait to watch the movie. Because we get, of course, a taste of what the movie is all about but we have no idea what the whole full picture is about. We certainly don’t know how it ends.
The same thing happens when you’re first getting to know a new guy. (This is especially true if you’re using dating apps, where there is, for some reason, a propensity for grilling every man and getting as much detail about his life, career, and history as possible before even that first date!)
You don’t need to tell him your three biggest life accomplishments on that first date. Spread it out a little bit.
Keep him wanting more.
Maybe you mention how you broke your arm in 12th grade, but then say well, that’s a story for another date!
That makes him look forward to the next time you’re together when he can ask you about that crazy scar on your elbow.
It can be tempting to lay it all out on the table at once: relationship history, funny family stories, why you love your job…I get it. You’re bonding with this man, and you want him to know everything there is to know about you, and vice versa.
But doling out this data over time helps keep the relationship moving at a slow, steady pace (see #4), and always gives you more to talk about.
And when he believes there’s more depth to you, when he knows he wants to keep seeing you… he’s going to miss you. He’s going to want to dive into that complex person that is you, even if you only give him a nugget at a time.
Conclusion: How to Make Him Miss You? Stop Trying So Hard
When considering how to make him miss you the most, realize that if you put less attention into that area and simply focused on being the best girlfriend possible, that in and of itself will make him miss you and your attention.
It’s all about being confident in who you are and knowing you’re so completely missable that he’d be insane not to yearn for you when you’re apart.
Also, ask yourself why you’re so concerned about him missing you. Do you feel insecure about the future of your relationship? Is there cause for those feelings, or do you just need to feel more certain of him?
It may be that you don’t have enough fulfilling activities and interests in your life, and now you’re desperate to know you have his attention when you aren’t together. In that case, as I said in #2, get a life. What did you enjoy doing before you met, or even when you were young and had more free time?
It might be time to take up crocheting, hiking, or salsa dancing. These are all hobbies that, should he not be around, can occupy your brain and hands.
And you never know; he may be missing you and just not telling you. But it takes two to tango; make sure you’re communicating that you miss him, and he’ll be sure to reciprocate.
Here’s what I want you to take away from this article and video today:
There are five essential ways you can make him miss you. They are ridiculously effective when it comes to pulling on his heartstrings and keeping him all yours.